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The Cuban Freedom Protest Is Awkward for Our Garbage Elite

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Eliana Aponte

Oh, that wasn’t embarrassing at all – a couple days after our glorious FBI, fresh from failing to stop several mass murderers it knew about decided to ask the American people to narc on their family members, the Cuban people took to the streets to protest just this type of commie garbage. Great timing. This is the kind of quality work that has led to our ace Inspector Erskines having no idea what the Maddow-loving leftist with the list of Republicans and a rifle was doing at that softball field. 


Now, it’s not just the FBI encouraging kids to turn-in their birthing people to the authorities for unapproved thoughts that channels the Castro vibe. It’s a whole bunch of things going down that demonstrate, conclusively, that our elite is down with the oppression. And, of course, it’s all in the name of democracy.

It was just this last July 4th that the esteemed, among jerks, New York Times informed us that the flag is a symbol of badness. Meanwhile, the Cuban people, and the people of Hong Kong, are waving the red, white n’ blue around like woke corporations waved rainbow flags right up until the last day of Pride Month. 

This all comes a week after the regime got caught tuning into Tucker Carlson’s texts. The whole listening into the private communications of dissenters flex seems kind of familiar too. The NSA sort of denied it – weasel words are red, flashing lights to lawyers like me – but then, exactly as predicted, some public servant leaked these nonexistent intercepts to the lapdog press. 

The best part of that fiasco was the members of the Never Trump Residue Caucus, like Jonah Goldberg, denying that the establishment would ever do this, then insisting they were correct even after it became clear to all sentient life forms that this is exactly what the establishment did. I’d link to Heavy G’s tweets where, in the classic internet formulation, he insisted that he was not owned as he slowly shrank and transformed into a corncob, but he blocked me. It was either because I mocked him for being a striving cabin boy on the cruise ship that is Conservative, Inc., or because I took the wrong side in one of his “Kirk v. Picard” debates.


Despite having kissed a girl, and therefore being alien to such controversies, I’ll die on the Kirk hill and damn what the Pride of Goucher College thinks.

Oh, and then there was Brian Stelter, who is a potato, tweeting out a story on how dictatorships often seek to silence critics on the internet:

Restricting internet access has become a tried-and-true method of stifling dissent by authoritarian regimes around the world, alongside government-supported disinformation campaigns and propaganda...

It appears that this particular tuber is both a good source of iron and a great source of irony.

Today, our state media of regime-approved and licensed journalists regularly decides what information you can and cannot know. Issues with injections? Forbidden. Perv laptops? Forbidden. Grandpa Badfinger’s choice at Baskin-Robbins? Let’s go wall-to-wall on this, people!

Finally, of course, there are now official lists of prominent dissidents. Talk about a badge of honor – is there some sort of application process to ensure you get listed on it?

How about keeping people in jail without trial, and charging them with felonies while letting allies who did the same or worse walk? Box: Checked.

Well, at least our government flunkies aren’t killing people just for protesting, right?

Oh, right.

So, how does our loser ruling caste deal with the problematic visual of it doing exactly what the people of Cuba and Hong Kong are protesting? It doesn’t.

Initially, it will acknowledge no eerie parallels, no telling equivalencies between themselves and what it calls the “authoritarian” regime in Cuba – President *’s Geppettos cannot bring themselves to outrage their commie-curious constituency by calling these Marxist bastards what they are. Tater’s tweet referenced above is a prime example – it does not initially occur to them that they are reading from Stalin’s playbook.


But when it does, they will embrace it, utterly and without shame. See, these are just common-sense measures necessary to protect our democracy from the prospect of the 50% of Americans like us having any say in its governance. This isn’t something straight out of the 1937 paperback edition of “The Lil’ Chekist Handbook.” No, see, these extreme extremists are extreme. They might snap a selfie or put their feet upon Her Majesty’s desk. Asking Junior to snitch on Pa for looking at that insurrectiony Townhall.com stuff on the interwebs is totally different than what the Cuba’s rulers are doing.

Also, they like Cuba’s rulers, and they like them much better than they like you.

There will always be an excuse, there will always be a reason. They aren’t just going to come out and say, “Yeah, we want to tyrannize our political opponents so no one can challenge our power.” No, they’ll portray it as wielding a searchlight to keep democracy from dying in darkness.

Controlling information and debate? Well, we can’t have misinformation!

Targeting opponents with law enforcement? But they’re insurrectionists!

Getting kids to tell on their parents? Who better to identify thoughtcriminals?

Look at Cuba today, and you see America tomorrow.

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