Opinion VIP

The Martial Law Fantasy

Posted: Dec 23, 2020 12:01 AM
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
The Martial Law Fantasy

Source: AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

Lots of stuff going on, like ridiculous martial law talk, the terrible, terrible The Crown show, plus I have some more on steak. I have had a beefy, bacony revelation and you need to know about it. 

Martial Law Is Not A Thing

There are actually two martial law things that are not things yet that are still going on right now. The first is that Donald Trump can, should and will declare martial law to do…something…about the election. I’m not sure what, but according to the Twitter fever swamps where this nonsense percolates, it probably has to do with what that guy on PatriotMAGAConfidential.com wrote about what he heard from the veterinarian of a guy who was in the Air Force in the 1970s about the Delta Force arresting and shipping the entire Trilateral Commission to Gitmo to be interrogated by JFK, Jr., and Elvis, neither of whom are dead.

No one is declaring martial law, not least of all Donald Trump. There’s no magic wand to wave and make the election unstolen. We’re going to fight this election atrocity in the courts, with a good chance of it not going our way, then we are going to pick ourselves up and double down on winning the next election. I know some people don’t want to hear that we’ve got a hard fight ahead instead of some easy surprise ending, but this is real life.

If we want our country back, we do it the hard way – by winning power under the Constitution. For those whose response is, “But they’ll steal all future elections,” I agree they will try, but offer you California as an example.


Yes, California. In 2018, ballot harvesting was legalized and the Dems did it while we did not. We got destroyed. In 2020, we did it. And we cleaned their clock, at least in a bunch of congressional districts we took back. The point is that we’re aware and ready, and it’s hard to steal an election when everyone is looking and when we have filed our lawsuits to secure the process in advance. Yeah, they’ll try to cheat, and yeah, we’ll be ready for them.

There’s always someone talking crazy out there on the fringes of the interwebs, and that’s not particularly noteworthy or interesting. What is noteworthy and interesting is when the allegedly serious mainstream media started up with that balderdash too. We saw a bunch of stories about how Trump is in his White House bunker planning Seven Days In May 2: Kraken Boogaloo. Of course, this comes from anonymous sources and is facially idiotic. But the media is saying it and the MSNBCNN tubers and goobers are eating it up, and as with every single other imbroglio they have generated about the p[resident, it will turn out to be false and they will all pretend they never fell for it and tried to sell it to us.

Like the Russiagate lies, like the bounties, like the smack talk about our glorious dead. It’s all crap, and it’s been proven crap, and yet the media never holds itself accountable.

But it won’t start holding itself accountable now – it has Jill Biden’s hilarious punchline of a degree to defend from those of us who know it’s a joke. 

Despise the media and help hasten its demise by not paying for it.

The Crown Is Awful

I used to like Netflix’s The Crown because, despite the unAmerican ridiculousness of the idea of royalty, Queen Elizabeth seemed to epitomize the character of Brits at their best, and her way of putting her duty first was a powerful repudiation to our frivolous postmodern world. Well, this season Margaret Thatcher came along (as did Lady Di) and it just went off the rails.

Gillian Anderson, the asexual pest from The X-Files, plays Thatcher, and terribly. Her verbal and physical tics are abominable, and they take away from a fascinating character. The problem in portraying someone like Thatcher is that the artistic community hates her, and they cannot entirely keep that hatred hidden. Bits of sympathy come through for her, but only in instances when they can make her seem pathetic. The filmmakers falsely tear her down, then seem to want credit for “humanizing” her by depicting weakness that did not exist in the Iron Lady.

When the squishes in the Tory Party knife her in the back, she leaves the scene (one of the interesting parts of The Crown is the Queen’s different relationships with almost a dozen Prime Ministers, starting with Churchill) and the show breathes a sigh of relief that one of the rare pols who actually believed in something was gone. But it does not at all reflect the reality that Thatcher took a declining, shabby country flirting with socialism and made it rich and respected again.

But what can you expect from Netflix?

Oh, Princess Diana shows up and you just want to never hear about these awful people again. We were so right to reject the silly idea of royalty.

Steak Update

You know where I stand on reverse sear – athwart history yelling “Give me seconds!” Here’s a new trick I’ve been doing. First, I use Brad’s Seasoning, which one of you gave me and I misplaced the envelope so I could not send a thank you note because I suck. Second, I now cook up a little bacon a few hours before. I add some of the trimmed beef fat and butter, render it, then pour some over the meat and let it stand. Then I sear it in the cast iron skillet in said fat. Oh, it’s awesome. Plus, you get some bacon.

Your Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa Gift List Must Include Crisis!

Nothing says holiday cheer like my action-packed novels of liberal-exploding fun! Get the woke conservative or the unwoke liberal in your life my new conservative action thriller Crisis. Also check out the other four novels in the bestselling series, People's RepublicIndian CountryWildfireandCollapseAnd if you want a signed paperback, use my super-secret email below and I’ll tell you where to send it and I’ll sign it.

My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com

Recommended Townhall Video