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The Other Winners and Losers

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

At this writing, and probably at many writings to come, the final decision about who won the election itself remains to be seen. But it’s not only the politicians who won or lost – there are plenty of other winners and losers to go around. Let’s praise and mock them respectively.

LOSER: The Pollsters

You know, in the world we normal people dwell in, when you consistently fail, you get fired. But, as in so many of our garbage establishment institutions, when you’re a pollster there is no accountability. You keep failing and failing and failing and your dumb clients and the dumb media keep citing your garbage surveys. It’s really remarkable. You would think they would have a little pride in themselves and not want to look like idiots, but no. Instead, it’s, “Our weighting gives us Biden +15 in Texas. Gee, that sounds right. Let’s go with that!” Except for a few outlets, always the ones that take conservatives seriously enough to reach out to them, it’s been a disaster. But next time, we’ll hear once again about how, “Ackshuuuuuallly, the polls were very accurate in 2020” as if we have the same memory issues as the guy they were trying to help. The nice thing is that even the least woke Republican is woke to the poll scam now.

WINNER: The Republican Party’s Populist Wing

The battle for the soul of the Republican Party is over and we won. This is now the party of people who work for a living, people who have little companies, people who want their kids to grow up in a world of regular pronouns and where going to church isn’t a hate crime. It is also a party that cares nothing about where your grandfather came from – we are winning black and Hispanic voters to our cause not by condescending “outreach” but by offering an agenda of good jobs and their kids not being sent off to fight idiotic wars. It is not the party of the Chamber of Commerce – hey geniuses, how’s that pivot to the Dems working out for ya? It is not the party of the bow tie dorks who snicker with their lib buddies over pumpkin-infused IPAs in Georgetown restaurant about those Walmart-shopping, Jesus-liking hicks who make up the base. It is not the party of Wall Street. We are a party that happily includes both the Amish and Lil’ Pump. And the Democrats are the party of hedge funders, college professors, Antifa bums, and people who think “The Handmaid’s Tale” is nonfiction.

LOSER: Fox News

I liked Fox News from the moment it appeared, and I know people there and have been on it countless times pre-COVID. I am a fan and a supporter, but sometimes you gotta have some real talk. Conservatives are furious with Fox. Livid. I see it in social media and in communications from readers. It’s real, and it’s serious. As a group used to being sold out by people and institutions they trusted, conservatives are hyper-sensitive to anything that hints of betrayal, and they feel betrayed. Silencing Newt about Soros, Chris Wallace’s debate performance, the terrible polls, and the awful calls by the Democrat hired to run the decision desk are all high on the list of complaints by former fans. This is a serious issue and gives me no pleasure, but the anger is real (and it will doubtless draw the most comments below). Tucker’s great ratings are great because he welcomes conservatives; frankly, many conservatives now believe the majority of people associated with the network holds them in contempt. Fox needs to carefully rethink its direction and reach out to its loyal audience or go the way of Drudge. You remember the Drudge Report, right? Yeah, me neither.

WINNER: Alternative Conservative Media

That’s what you are reading right now, folks. We have built an alternative media and it has saved us. Here on Townhall you can get the news and commentary you used to get elsewhere. There was Election Night coverage here.(You should join Townhall VIP if you haven’t) and on other unlicensed, unofficial and unapproved outlets that put the networks to shame. That’s not just me saying it – people are itching for smarter, better coverage that addresses what we think is important instead of telling us what to believe. In the years to come, especially if the Dems hold the White House, we will be the…well, we won’t call it “The Resistance” because those goofs have wrecked that term forever with their ridiculous posturing. We’ll be the alternative to the mainstream media’s lies, and we’ll be the vanguard for our coming counter-attack on the rickety Establishment.

LOSER: Never Trumpers.

To be fair, these pathetic geebos are always losers, and they were fated to be losers regardless of the outcome of the election. Had the blue wave appeared, do you think the Democrats would have celebrated these traitors and invited them to the party? They probably could have dragged out the grift a bit more, capering for quarters like a cute little monkey with a hat for its organ-grinding master on MSNBCNN panels as the token domesticated Republican. Maybe they could have found another Silicon Valley to write them checks, but in the end they did nothing except ensure our perpetual contempt for them and their ilk. They imagined that after the Republican Party collapsed in ruins because of their mean tweets and unseen ads, we would come to them to help rebuild the party as…what? A second, even less masculine Democrat Party? They are nothing, and off they will cruise into the sunset. Ahoy, losers.

Crisis, the fifth book in my best-selling conservative thriller selling series about America split into red and blue is coming out on November 23rd, so get ready by reading People's RepublicIndian Country, Wildfire, and Collapse. Also, check out The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!)!

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