Opinion

It’s Too Late for a Late Hit

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Posted: Nov 02, 2020 12:01 AM
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
It’s Too Late for a Late Hit

Source: AP Photo/Jeff Swinger

So, what was the Democrat/media surprise late hit this weekend after this column went to bed? You know by now. It won’t have been some anonymous latte-fetcher announcing his identity – that was last week. It won’t have been that Donald Trump, who like every other creditor in history settled a dispute with his lenders. Also last week. It won’t have been one of Trump’s business associates, a whistleblowing veteran with a vaguely Slavic last name, going on national TV with the receipts showing his massive and corrupt contacts with America’s enemies. That was Joe Biden, and you might have missed it if you only perused the mainstream media.

There’ll be something, though, like in 2000 when the media sprung W’s DUI on us during the final weekend. Back in those innocent days, getting hammered and hitting the road was disqualifying. That’s so quaint. Today, you can get a DUI and flee the scene and be a furry and have a stupid nickname like “Beto” and still be a primary candidate.

There’ll be something, and it will be a lie, and the Twitter blue checks will be back with the same “THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN!” nonsense with which they have disgraced themselves for the last five years. But you know what?

It won’t matter.

They could drop purported footage of Trump punting puppies off the Brooklyn Bridge and we wouldn’t believe it. Is that because we are members of Cult 45? Is that because we are immune to reason? Is that because we conservatives hate puppies? Well, we do hate communist puppies and strongly support their punting, but that’s not the point. The point is that the mainstream media has cried Wolf Blitzer one too many times.

We won’t believe anything they tell us.

Nothing.

You can totally fake stuff. If they can animate Joe Biden, they can pull anything off with CGI.

Similarly, we don’t believe their manifestly fake polls, like the CNN/Weenis Strategies poll showing Grandpa Badfinger at +37 that are such obviously awkward attempts to psyche us out and keep us from voting that Machiavelli would slap them for their embarrassingly inept attempts at manipulation. Since Trump alighted from his escalator in 2015, the mainstream media has taken any residual good will it might have had after decades of treating us like Nadler treats his boxers and set it on fire.

So, that’s one reason the late hit, whatever it is, won’t work. The second reason is of the Democrat’s own making.

A whole Schiff-ton of the electorate has already voted. I did. I filled out my ballot straight GOP, like every American should, and turned it in a few days ago. The LA Registrar even sent me an email telling me it was received and would be counted (there’s a bar code on the outside envelope that they scan), not that it matters since I live in Ted Lieu’s district in California. The fact is that a lot of us have voted already, so no matter what the Dems dropped over the weekend there is only a limited number of people to affect. And most of those are conservatives, since the Dems were the ones pushing early voting. So many of us cons have been adamant that we are walking into a polling place on Election Day and voting then and there, and we don’t care about the late hits.

So, by getting a lot of independents who might have been swayed by a late hit to have already cast their ballot, the Democrats have kind of neutered their favorite tactic. 

Oh well.

In contrast, the Biden/Bobulinski thing went down awhile ago, and that particular October Surprise will have quite the effect despite the best efforts of the tech fascists and the garbage media to make sure that democracy dies in darkness.

So, all that really remains just idle curiosity about what the late hit was. They had to try something to take people’s eyes off the 33 percent GDP. The NYT seems to have considered going with “Trump used depreciation rules to legally lower his taxable income,” but dropped it in the face of widespread laughter. They tried the “COVID surge” last week and it hit the market, but dropping 800 points does not have investors leaping from the ledges the way they would have before the Dow Jones was above 26K. Maybe, after half-a-decade of lies, they ran out.

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There is another possibility we need to consider.

What if the final October Surprise – or November 1st surprise – is about the Harris-Biden ticket?

Are there new shenanigans with Hoover and whoever that might come out? That guy is a bottomless well of embarrassment.

Is Oldfinger himself going to say something amazingly dumb again, like, “Why yes, I plan to destroy your careers by banning fossil fuels so the pagan climate weirdos in San Francisco will be happy?” 

Is Harris going to be caught on film trying to dance again?

Who knows?

And who cares?

This election result is baked in.

Everyone knows Trump, and they either love him or hate him.

Everyone knows Biden, and they either tolerate him because they hate Trump, or prefer Trump because either they are conserva-woke or because the thought of voting for that desiccated old crustacean is too much to bear.

The late hit won’t amount to much because America has decided. It’s all about putting the ballots in the box now (and watching them being counted). So, get out there and vote, and get other patriots out there too.

Hey media, we got something you can late hit.

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