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Biden’s Revenge Agenda

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

The agenda of President Joe “25th Amendment Bait” Biden, to the extent he has an agenda besides trying to find his perpetually lost slipper down there in his basement lair, consists entirely of taking vengeance upon you for your crime of defying the garbage establishment and electing Donald Trump.


He doesn’t want to help you. He’s not even interested in leaving you alone. Instead, the progressive Geppetos holding the strings to this withered old Pinocchio, should he become a real boy next January, are entirely committed to punishing you and ensuring that you are nothing like a citizen ever again.

All they have to do is hold the House, flip a few Senate seats, and fool America into thinking that Grandpa Badfinger is still “Middle Class Joe” instead of a basement-dwelling, desiccated, gropey old strange-o with delusions of mental competence and a running feud with that uppity squirrel who lives in his backyard.

There’s not a single policy he and his controllers will impose, after they bust the filibuster, that will make your life better. There’s not even a single policy that will just let you be. Rather, each and every proposal that sad, ancient weirdo’s crank-turners will pursue is specifically designed to steal your money, your means of defense, your freedom, and your ability to ever again defy the left. This is a Revenge of the Nerds reboot, though in this case Ogre is a goateed sissy who can’t bench his iPad but who can get named to head the Department of Justice’s new Hate Speech Division and thereby monitor your Twitter feed for wrongthink he can report to the the FBI, an agency that has already demonstrated its enthusiasm for persecuting the enemies of any leftist regime.

“Kurt, you’re crazy with this crazy talk about crazy things. Clearly you are crazy and also cisnormative.”


Cisnormative yes, but crazy? No. 

Look around you.

The Democrats are practically wetting themselves with glee over how the garbage institutions and the garbage big corporations – which are so intertwined with the liberal establishment that you’d have to turn a hose on them to uncouple them from their unholy union – are already doing the libs’ dirty work of enforcing conformity of speech and thought. Uppity people will be marked for destruction by big business, the media, and by government too. Defamation will be policy, even worse than what I chronicled in my new book, The 21 Biggest Lies About Donald Trump (and You!)

And think of what happens when they control the cops. We normal people and the liberal establishment are both appalled at the recent poll indicating that 62% of Americans are afraid to say what they really think about politics. We normals are horrified that so many Americans are afraid, while the left is dismayed that so few are.

Here’s a preview of the Revenge Agenda, empowered by court packing and the elimination of the filibuster, and cheerleaded by the mainstream media which will absolutely enjoy the taxpayer-funded bribes/bailouts of its failing industry.

Fraud-friendly mail-in voting will be mandatory and every possible voting integrity rule and protection will be declared unlawful, ensuring that the Democrats are free to cheat. Oh sure, count on the Biden DoJ to take time away from persecuting conservative political opponents to investigate the manifest Democrat electoral abuses. The feds – who will suddenly become the left’s heroes again (AG McCabe anyone?) – will get right on that.


Count on amnesty for everyone who staggers, stumbles, or slips across the border. The “pathway to citizenship” will go right past the Democrat Party registration tables. Your vote will be drowned out in a tsunami of foreigners paid off by Democrat handouts of your money.

Your taxes will skyrocket. But hey, you can be sure all those liberal zillionaires will be paying through the nose too – they’ll be hit with a special unicorn tax.

The Democrats hate small businesspeople, with their independence and tendency to vote Republican, and these patriotic entrepreneurs will be crushed with the eager assistance of the big corporations who hate the competition. Wal-Mart and other crony capitalists will prosper as long as they keep donating.

And they will keep importing junk from China as the Trump manufacturing boom gets reversed and our jobs and critical capacities will return to the home of the Bat Soup Plague. Also, it will be illegal to call COVID-19 that or anything else that refers to its origins in some bizarre Chinese entrée. A Biden administration will absolutely pass laws to punish “hate speech,” and Democrat judges will absolutely find a hitherto unknown exception to the First Amendment allowing it. Hey, if they can find a right to kill babies lurking under all those penumbras and emanations, they can find the ability to toss you in jail for badspeak. Naturally, on a Venn Diagram, “Hate speech” will correspond exactly with “Speech liberals disapprove of.”


The Second Amendment’s bar to the infringement of the right of the people to keep and bear arms will be re-interpreted by a packed SCOTUS to mean “Just kidding.”  They will ban guns and they will try to confiscate them. And when patriots resist, the same feds excoriated for keeping peaceful, loving, huggy liberal activists from peacefully, lovingly, and huggily setting fire to federal buildings and blinding officers will be ordered to arrest us and even kill us.

Crazy? Ask Randy Weaver’s wife, or any of the 70+ barbecued Branch Davidians about the value of human life when said humans get in the way of the liberal gun-grabbing agenda. If you can identify the moral stopping point the left might honor lying between where it is now and going full Robespierre, let us know.

Your religion will be targeted too. It’s a power center outside of leftist control (unless you are in one of those Jesus-optional liberal protestant sects, which don’t actually count as a religion) and it must be destroyed. But if your religion is headed by a creepy Swedish teen, it will become the state religion. Look for a Green New Deal that strips you of the things you want – cars, beef, your job, your freedom, your money – but that will somehow not impact the lives of our liberal betters. They will be exempt. Enjoy being sacrificed on the altar of woke paganism.

Your political organizations will be targeted. Lois Lerner will get called out of retirement to ensure we can’t organize. The NRA will be persecuted out of existence. And the Republican Party will be rendered useless, which will require exactly zero effort by the liberals.


Look for abortion on a whim at your expense. Look for crime to be excused and self-defense prosecuted. Look for more sucking up to China – the Democrat leadership has more in common with Xi than with you and me. Plus, even if that basement-lair dwelling oddball was inclined to resist China, he couldn’t. They own him. What the ChiCom spooks no doubt have Hoover Biden doing on tape while he accompanied his doddering father over there on Air Force Two is probably almost as bad as the average Bulwark blog scribbler’s browser history.

America under the Revenge Agenda will be awful, but its imposition will only be the beginning of the chaos. It will be a public policy Ft. Sumter. For some reason, the left believes it can change the parts of the status quo that restrain it without changing the parts that restrain us. The elites who would eagerly impose this vision of liberal fascism are so historically illiterate and unjustifiably arrogant that they probably think that once they launch their Revenge Agenda that will be the end of history. They imagine that their ruthless campaign of oppression will result in us normals simply lying back with their soft, Birkenstock-clad feet on our necks, submitting forever. Except that’s not how history works.

No tyranny is forever. The Romans used to kill all rebel men and sell all rebel women and kids into slavery, and today these former empire-builders now exist only as a bunch of pizza bakers and owners of organ grinders’ monkeys. Our tormentors are neither as serious or as tough as the Caesars and Augustuses of Rome. The Kadens and Ashleighs of blue America can only deploy sarcastic tweets and whiny protests about how our horribleness leaves them literally shaking. They have to get other people, people like us who know which end of a gun goes bang, to do their very dirty work. Some of us might collaborate in our caste’s oppression, so the scheme might work for a bit, but it won’t work for long.


Sometimes a frog figures out that the water is coming to a boil and jumps out of the pot. And an American frog might just leap out and grab its AR15.

Join Townhall VIPAlso, grab a copy of my just-released Regnery non-fiction book, The 21 Biggest Lies About Donald Trump (and You!). It’s your revenge on the libs.

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