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Everything Is Falling Apart or Not

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
Official White House Photo by D. Myles Cullen

Lots to talk about this week, including the upside of coronavirus, the Joe Biden mental decline cover-up, text nightmares, and also intermittent mocking of liberals.

When Life Gives You Coronavirus, Make Lemonade

The Wuhan Flu – oh no, RACISM! – is nothing to sneeze at. It’s sickening a lot of people and killed a small but significant number. Simply because it is not the pandemic nightmare crisis the left so very much wants as a bludgeon to use to stop Donald Trump does not mean it is nothing. And for all their tiresome caterwauling, the left cannot articulate exactly what Trump should be doing that he hasn’t done. Instead, you get a lot of “HE’S KILLING PEOPLE” without even a cursory stab at articulating causation. Oh well – you tried RUSSIA! EMOLUMENTS! IMPEACH! and now this and it all failed. 

Politically, it’s an annoyance, but almost certainly in a couple of months we’ll be past it without the sky falling. It’s the next one that we need to worry about, and as bad as coronavirus is – and for those who have lost loved ones, it’s horrible – we can and must take advantage of it. This is not the Big One, but the Big One is coming. Statistically, it has to, and coronavirus has provided an invaluable field training exercise for the pandemic that will come along with a death rate like the dreaded Spanish Flu of 1918.

Our response has been strong, though you won’t hear that from the media. Quarantine procedures are in place, travel restrictions are up, and word is getting out. It’s hard to watch TV for more than a few minutes without a medical expert coming on and providing information. That’s important, but we could have started that earlier. Transparency is key. It won’t stop the liberals from trying to make hay of any angle they can find to diss the government’s response (say, aren’t they the same folks looking to put the government in control of all health care?) but normal people appreciate it.

This has also demonstrated the challenge of globalization, and the short-sightedness of the geniuses who presume to be our betters in outsourcing key industries and capabilities overseas. I did not know that China makes most of our antibiotics – did you? Because that’s really something our smart set should have seen was not a great idea. Interconnection is generally good, but we still exist in a Westphalian nation-state paradigm and we need to make sure that we can make the stuff we need here at home. So, let’s use this miserable challenge as a training aid and fix the problems we have found now, before the Big One comes along.

Joe Is…No. Just No.

Someone needs to end this because the whole Joe Biden thing is becoming absolutely embarrassing. All the best people have been very clear that we can’t comment on the Emperor’s Lack of New Clothes, but I’ll say it – Joe is buck naked. 

The guy is in decline, and it’s gone from funny to sad. He can’t be president. Half the time he’s not even present. Look, I get that the Democrats had to do something about Bernie Stalinlicker before he Mondaled up the election, but now that they have…well, they’ve now got a nominee who should be channeling Abe Lincoln and instead is channeling Abe Simpson.

Who is going to actually be president if Biden gets elected? Joe sure isn’t. He’ll be wandering around the Rose Garden challenging pigeons to a fight. His veep will be incredibly important, but it’s likely to be some non-entity like Kamala Harris or Amy Klobuchar, and it seems unlikely the DNC will allow whoever it is to take the keys and drive the country around. It’s likely to be government by liberal establishment brain trust, with the old Obama hands running the show while Joe tries to find his lost slipper.

If you want Kept Ketchum Man John Kerry looming about cutting deals with the mullahs, or Ben Rhodes leveraging his vast experience dreaming of writing crappy novels to screw up American foreign policy again, vote Joe. Joe is the candidate of change, the change back to the grim decline that characterized the Obama era.

Hard pass.

Don’t Text Me, Bro

Okay, National Republican Congressional Committee, I don’t know where you got my cell number, but lose it. 

Every day like clockwork I get an EMERGENCY LAST CHANCE NOTICE! to give these people money. Yeah, I want to take back the House, but not enough to give you money. You need to demonstrate your lack of sucking, and texting me about how there’s a “5x DONATION MATCH UNTIL MIDNITE ONLY” does not tell me you don’t suck. It tells me you do suck.

And it tells me that you think I’m stupid, which makes me significantly less inclined to give you money. And by “significantly,” I mean that if I was on fire and giving you money was the only way to get extinguished, I would burn, baby, burn.

The soul-crushing stupidity of the NRCC texts is such that you really have to wonder what the geniuses who managed to lose to the matron from Scat Francisco think about the base. But then, if it didn’t work, perhaps you would not do it anymore – or perhaps you would. After all, the GOP is famous for continuing to fail for long stretches of time without changing. It took Trump to finally convert a party run by spine-free mollusks into one that finally got a taste of #winning, and liked it.

So stop texting me. 

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