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Hillary Column Triggers Trigger Warning

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

When I wrote my recent Townhall column, “Hillary Will Be President Of Nothing,” I expected that the response from the foam-lipped Left would be irrational, unhinged hate. And I looked forward to it since, like all good conservatives, I feed off of impotent leftist rage. But little did I know that my column would itself be the recipient of one of those legendary “trigger warnings” that liberal feminist believe strong, independent, capable womyn need to avoid the emotional catastrophe of being offended. Nor did I expect that I would also have to apologize to a hideous demigod of unrepentant evil.


No, not Hillary. Another one.

The point of my column was that Hillary Clinton combines sanctimony with amorality and mixes incompetence with general unpleasantness to create a witch’s brew of traits that make it unlikely she will ever be president. This is something that, in the long run, would be to the benefit of her fellow Democrats since her tenure as president would be as awful for their party as it would be for America. She is terrible, and her husband is a creepy perv, and they should both just fade away and be forgotten, like John Edwards and Vanilla Ice.

This led to the trigger warning of which I am so proud. Some random leftist feminist site decided that my hard truths were a bit too hard for the delicate flowers of womanhood who make up its readership. This site, called “,” is absolute comedy gold. It describes itself as “a progressive feminist blog about politics, culture, social justice, cute things, and all that is in between,” and if there’s a lefty cliché it missed, I didn’t catch it. It helpfully attempts to squelch dissent at the outset by instructing, “Please note that the commenting policy and the Feminism 101 section, conveniently linked at the top of the page, are required reading before commenting.” Among its many, many rules are, “Be open to correction in response to unintentional expressions of privilege.”


Yes, we have “privilege,” people. Everyone drink.

In the spirit of wide-ranging discussion, the “[c]omments are open to anyone as long as they don't troll and/or traffic in racist, misogynist, homophobic, trans*phobic, gender essentialist, disableist, ageist, sizeist, or otherwise objectionable commentary based on people's intrinsic characteristics and/or identities.” Now, we conservatives should explore websites like this, which considers itself “an advanced feminist space,” because we need to learn about our opponents so we can laugh at them.

I, for instance, learned that “disableist” is a thing. I also learned that inserting random asterisks into the middle of words like “trans*phobic” signifies something, though my patriarchal phallocentrism prevents me from understanding what. I still haven’t learned what being a “gender essentialist” is, but because I believe there are only two I’m probably one of them. After all, I think that what plumbing you have is essential to identifying your gender. considers itself “a safe space,” and the key to that safety – beyond excluding every unapproved idea, thought and notion – is the trigger warning. I earned one! The site hailed my column as trafficking in “the most basic, primitive, unapologetic misogyny: Dehumanizing a powerful woman by calling her a monster.” My trigger warning reads, “Content Note: Misogyny; dehumanization.”


Now, let’s be clear – it’s a lie, an outright falsehood designed to signal to their fascisty readership that my critique and ideas are unapproved and can be dispensed with at the threshold without considering or weighing them. It’s a rookie brownshirt move, and when leftists do it we need to call them on it – whether the tactic is used by Internet nobodies or mainstream media nobodies.

There is no “misogyny” in my column; instead, it takes Hillary to task for being an unaccomplished poser trying to sail through to the White House on the strength of her X chromosomes. She has said as much herself – her entire candidacy is based upon the notion that the USA needs to elect someone with a uterus.

And this is how they will come back at anyone who dares to point out how vapid and foolish electing someone because of his, her or its sex is. To point out what she herself is saying is somehow out of bounds, beyond the pale, even unchivalrous. You can’t merely detest her antics; you must hate all women if you criticize this one. Or, apparently, if you support any conservative women, which is probably a hate crime too in these peoples’ beady little eyes.

Nor was there “dehumanization.” Now, I merely pointed out, within the milieu of American politics, how she is the equivalent of H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu – a malicious, malignant demon who awaits its chance to return to power and initiate a reign of unholy terror. As her minions might chant, “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Clinton Chappaqua wgah'nagl fhtagn.” This is a pretty apt comparison in my view, but a number of people pointed out that it dreadfully slanders Cthulhu. So I’m sorry, Cthulhu. Please don’t eat my soul.


I suppose there are some liberal halfwits out there who think I literally mean Hillary is a scaly, bat-winged octopus beast – after all, they buy into the global warming scam – but we must refuse to write only those things morons won’t misunderstand.

My column was a harsh, ruthless and absolutely accurate examination of Hillary’s utter lack of what the rest of us know as “morals.” And I barely scraped the surface – I didn’t talk about Travelgate, Whitewater, Monica Lewinsky, or Hillary’s pimping for donations from foreign potentates who often show their love of women by presiding over mass genital mutilations. I wrote mean things and these frauds get the vapors; women get butchered with dirty razor blades in Third World abattoirs and these frauds give the cutters a pass. Spare me your sanctimony.

What you will not see is engagement with my ideas. They don’t answer my question about Clinton’s greatest achievement as America’s worst secretary of state before John Kerry. Is asking that misogynist or dehumanizing? They don’t contend with the very real potential of her turgid hubby humiliating her, and the entire country, with his bimbo eruptions – nor with his very real history of sexual exploitation of … wait for it … women.

Leftism is a lie; leftists believe in nothing but their own accumulation of power. They don’t want to debate Clinton’s competence. They want to shut down all debate, about Clinton and everything else. And it’s not just going to be obscure websites doing it but the whole mainstream media. Americans who believe in free expression, here’s your trigger warning for the 2016 campaign:


“Caution: Lies, Bias, Hypocrisy, and Petty Fascism.”

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