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America, You’ve Been Grubered!

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

The most important effect of the revelations of the Administration’s flunkies’ history of cheesy lies about Obamacare is that liberals must now answer one threshold question before discussing the substance of any new socialist scheme:


Why should we trust anything liberals say about anything?

Grubergate is just one of the score of scandals, frauds, and failures that have destroyed any trust in this collection of creeps by anyone except the most leftist and the most stupid, two sets which, if graphed in a Venn diagram, would be represented by a single circle.

IRS oppression. Executive amnesty. VA death lists. The Benghazi filmmaker frenzy. You’d think that statistically this Administration would have to act honestly and/or competently sometime. Instead, Obama’s managed to create the political equivalent of a broken clock that’s never right.

The liberals are fuming, infuriated that Jonathan Gruber let the cat out of the bag. Then let out another. And another. In fact, he dumped out a whole bag of cats as new media detectives released fresh clips daily depicting his smarmy confessions that he thinks the people who fell for Obamacare are drooling idiots. No, don’t look at us conservatives – we saw through this crypto-fascist scheme from Day One. Your boy Gruber is just telling it like it is – when liberals aren’t liars, they’re morons.

Like the hip kids say, hate the game, not the single payer.

What to do? With apologies to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the liberals in the media, which is to say “the media,” ran through the first four of the five stages of grief in record time.

Stage One – Denial: “Gruber who? Never heard of the guy I said was key to the whole Obamacare idea. And I never heard of Obamacare either. Look, a squirrel!”


Stage Two – Anger: “This is an outrage, citing the statements of a guy we spent years touting as an expert on Obamacare who says it was all a giant scam! You are the worst human being since that inhuman monster who wore a whimsical shirt to a comet landing!”

Stage Three – Bargaining: “Well, uh, Mitt Romney hired him too so it’s not so bad. Wait, what? You say that for conservatives, defending Mitt Romney over Romneycare is not a thing?”

Stage Four – Depression: “How can we ever hope to trick – I mean ‘convince’ – the American people to trust us enough about made-up crises to ever again transfer massive amounts of money and power to us liberals and the institutions we control?”

How indeed. The liberals will probably never reach Stage Five (Acceptance), and they face the huge hurdle the next time they gin up some bogus problem that demands a solution that – here’s the shocker – requires they be given more money and power. That hurdle is the fact that we conservatives are never going to let anyone forget how they Grubered America.

The climate change scam? They’ll Gruber at us that it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened, even worse than the ice age they were predicting back in the 70s if we didn’t – wait for it – give liberals more money and power.

The midterm election was a big blow to the fading cash and freedom-devouring climate change scam. The fact that global warming does not seem to involve any warming was already presenting a problem for the slobbering fetishists of the climate panic. Now, every time they start saying, “Trust us. I know how a year ago I said that by now the oceans would be dried up, but they’ll totally be gone next summer – really,” people will respond, “Don’t Gruber me, bro.”


It’s kind of hard to build up a lot of trust for your next big idea when you excuse lying about your last big idea because it was so darn important: “Oh yeah, deceiving you about health care was cool because health care is a big deal. Sure, climate change could mean the end of the world, but on that one, well, absolute honesty. This whole green energy thing totally won’t cost you more for electricity, limit your freedom, or enrich our liberal billionaire donors. Cross my heart. Now excuse me, I gotta catch a chartered jet to Gstaad for a conference on the importance of taking away your cars.”

Similarly, those pushing “net neutrality” – that is, allowing the government new and unprecedented power to regulate the web – have to contend with the annoying threshold question of why any sane person would ever allow this Administration to dig its claws into that final bastion of unregulated freedom. The responses liberals have to our refusal to trust them with more power over the online world are quite illustrative of exactly why we should refuse to trust them with more power over the online world. For example, sometimes they call us stupid for not trusting the same people who Gruber demonstrated think we are stupid. As a lawyer, I have to assess the notion that I’m stupid for not wanting to empower people who think I’m stupid as an unconvincing argument.

They also call us crazy, as if it’s nuts not to trust an Administration that Grubered us on its last big project. In fact, it’s the opposite of crazy – it’s ancient wisdom. That ancient wisdom is today distilled in the jury instructions given in our courts, like this snippet from California Civil Jury Instruction (CACI) 107: “However, if you decide that a witness has deliberately testified untruthfully about something important, you may choose not to believe anything that witness said.” In other words, as legendary Roman lawyer Cicero probably said, liars gonna lie.


You truly can’t fool all of the people all of the time, and thanks to Gruber, the time of trusting liberals is drawing to a close. This is wonderful. Look, we conservatives always knew these clowns were pushing Marxy snake oil on a gullible electorate. Now, the truth is impossible to hide. It’s right there on video, and it’s Gruberiffic.


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