Judge Beats Up Lawyer in FL: Justice Served

Posted: Jun 04, 2014 12:01 AM
Judge Beats Up Lawyer in FL: Justice Served

Strike one for the little guy, judge.

With your fists, in his face.

Anyway, that’s what one Florida judge did to a public defender. He took him out back and gave him a butt whipping.

In the face, with his fists.

With lawyers it’s the same thing as a butt whipping, because most of them are all ass anyway. They are 100% certified USDA ass.

“A Florida judge allegedly punched a public defender after the two stepped outside the courtroom to settle a beef,” reports the New York Daily News. “The brawl erupted after Judge John Murphy began to argue with the lawyer, Andrew Weinstock, in a Brevard County courtroom just outside of Orlando on Monday.”

“You know, if I had a rock, I would throw it at you right now,” the judge told the attorney before punching him out. The episode was aired live on TV.

Look, to be honest, I’m not condoning violence against lawyers.

I’m applauding it.

My father was a lawyer, my brother is a lawyer.

And I never, ever punched them.

Well, maybe my brother.

But if you dig into what’s wrong with America, you’ll find a lawyer at the bottom of every dung heap.

That label on coffee that tells us the contents are “hot”?

A lawyer gave us that.

That twelve page rental car agreement?


Sexual reassignment surgery in the military on the taxpayers’ dime?

More lawyers.

If it weren’t for lawyers you’d never have heard of Rev. Al Sharpton.

Bill Clinton, lawyer; Hillary Clinton, lawyer; Barack Obama, lawyer; John Edwards, lawyer.

And those are just the famous ones.

Right now in your hometown there are likely dozens of them overbilling clients, making and breaking promises, conspiring with the opposing counsel to the keep the billing going until the money is gone.

I’m thinking of one guy right now, locally where I live—a “conservative” mind you—who cheated one woman out of mid six figures when she would have been better off representing herself.

He’s the type of guy that a used car lot wouldn’t hire.

After all, there are standards in most other professions.

But not with lawyers.

Lawyers look for problems, lawyers make problems worse, and in only the most heinous of cases does a lawyer get reprimanded.

So let’s just say that I’m hoping a legal precedent was started here with Judge Murphy.

Because while judges are lawyers themselves, they have to clear a docket after all.

They have to produce something.

So judges are free to pass over the hypocrisy of a legal system that rewards lawyers for producing nothing.

And if you think that sounds a lot like Washington, you’re right.

That’s why we have too many lawyers in DC, and that’s why they produce so little.

Kind of a chicken-and-egg scenario with the chicken billing the egg by the hour.

And before you accuse me of lawyer hate, let me remind you that it was William Shakespeare who penned the line: “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.''

I don’t want lawyers to die. Too many lawsuits would result.

What I’m advocating is something more akin to tough love.

With a fist, in their face.

By a judge.

And yes, I’m thinking of a few lawyers right now.

Quick! I need to call a judge.