House Judiciary Details Impeachment Inquiry Scope Ahead of First Hearing
New Text Message Shows Joe Biden's 'Work' With Hunter Was 'the Usual'
Here's What DeSantis Says He'll 'Throw in the Trash Can' on Day One
Why Hunter Biden's Lawsuit Against Rudy Giuliani Is Hilarious
Virginia Dem's Poll Numbers Crater After Sex Video Scandal
Seven Wild Moments From the Second GOP Debate
Wait, That's Why the DOJ Dragged Its Feet on Charging Hunter Biden?
The Second GOP Debate Was a Mess...and It Exposed a Glaring Issue Within...
Former J6 Prosecutor Is Now a Stabbing Suspect
Christie Unveils New Nickname for Trump. The Former President Responds.
Why Would Anyone Vote for This?
Tim Scott Attacks Ramaswamy's Previous Business With the Chinese Communist Party
Amid Damning Wire Transfer Revelations, Let's Review What the Bidens Said About Chinese...
Katie Hobbs Won't Be Governor for a Bit, 4th in Line Steps in...
Mike Pence Fails to Outshine Other Candidates During the Second GOP Debate

Robert Redford’s Head is Full of Oil

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

If you’ve ever been to Washington, DC on a cold winter day, you’d know that 30 degrees Fahrenheit is pretty darned cold in the capital. With steady winds over 20 mph and the damp, swamp air, the cold snaps at you like the bitter end of a rolled up towel.


Chicago at 15 degrees isn’t as cold as DC at 30.

That’s why I find it hard to believe that 35,000-40,000 global warming activists, who by all rights should not have winter gear- they shouldn’t have it, nor should they be allowed to have it- showed up over the weekend in DC to protest…um…something.

You just never know with those lefties.  

They are always mad about something. And you can be sure that that something is generally good for you and me.

Mortgages? Mad about that.  But don’t we all want to buy a home?

Big Gulps? Ok, maybe not so good for you, but delicious just the same.

Happy Meals? The toys make me happy. The FDA? Not so much. 

Pharmaceuticals? Mad about that too. But medicine actually saves lives. Ask the guys who had strokes- the ones who made it to the hospital for treatment- whether medicines, commonly referred to as pharmaceuticals, are good or bad.

Oh and don’t get me started on jobs. We all want jobs, but liberals seems to have almost an allergic reaction to anything that isn’t a non-defense related government job.            

If they had their way we’d all be working for that struggling, underfunded agency the Department of Education.

But anywho, that leads me back to the whole protest thing, in the cold, over the weekend in DC.

So rally organizers tell us that 35,000-40,000 whacked-out enviros showed up for event, led by old Leatherface himself, Robert Redford, who wrote a letter of support, even if, like a lot of others, he decided not to brave the elements and show up himself.


That’s good news for the rest of us and for Redford too. I know he’s like 105 years old by now, but Redford has never heard of moisturizing cream, apparently, judging by his craggy face.

But apparently he HAS heard of hair dye.  That’s why I’m just brimming to know if his hair dye is environmentally friendly.

Once “the most beautiful man in the world,” Redford now has big, red, locks of hair that look suspiciously like the product of some type of petroleum or fossil fuel byproduct. And if you ever had a whiff of hair dye, you’d know that all of them smell like the toxic discharge from Three Mile Island. 

Indeed, a peek at the FDA website on hair dyes makes me think that Redford better get on board with the Keystone XL, or lose his new, fire-engine red hair forever.

“A hair dye product containing a non-approved coal-tar color” says the FDA, “which is known to cause adverse reactions under conditions of use cannot be considered adulterated if the label bears the caution statement provided in section 601(a) of the FD&C Act and offers adequate directions for preliminary patch testing by consumers for skin sensitivity. The caution statement reads as follows:

Caution - This product contains ingredients which may cause skin irritation on certain individuals and a preliminary test according to accompanying directions should first be made. This product must not be used for dyeing the eyelashes or eyebrows; to do so may cause blindness.”

Coal-tar? Could it be true? Could the guru of all environmentally friendliness, the disciple of anarchists, be using a petroleum product (or coal-tar) on his head, or even- gasp- a cancer causing substance that can cause blindness? 


Seems likely.

According to WebMD, most hair dyes use either petroleum or coal-tar to bind the color in hair dyes to hair.

But that’s not all.

Huffington Post Canada now reports that only about 10,000 protestors- not 40,000 that rally organizers claimed- showed up in the bitter cold over the weekend to protest in DC according to “one police officer in attendance.” And these protestors were apparently bused in by 130 diesel-fueled buses from around the country. Or so says Sierra Club honcho, Howie Chong.

The truth, so it seems, on this weekend at least, about protestors, organizers and the stars that feed he global warming frenzy, needed to be fueled by fossil fuel, global warming be damned.    

The protest, the participants and the head count, in short, were a petroleum-based, dye job all the way around.

Now that’s way cold, even in DC. 

Join the conversation as a VIP Member


Trending on Townhall Videos