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OPINION

The Democrats Want You to Die

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
The Democrats Want You to Die

I'm beginning to detect a theme running throughout the Democrat Party's proposals.

Actually, the theme is about as subtle as a icepick in Sicily, so I'm quite surprised that I haven't noticed it before.

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OK, I HAVE noticed it before, I just haven't noticed it EVERYWHERE two or more liberal proposals are gathered in Pelosi's name.

So anywho, as I was saying: After much stoic reflection, I've determined that Democrats believe that the key to creating the liberal heaven-on-earth is in getting us all to die.



Yep. Dead as hell; that's what they want.

And I don't just mean the millionaires and billionaires.

They want you dead, me dead, Aunt Bessie and Uncle Moe too.

Let's take, for example, one of their newest proposals to raise taxes under the banner of tax "reform" or "revenue" enhancement.

According to the Democrats' notion of things, the first step in this reform is that:1) YOU DIE.

Problem solved!

Because it's only after you are dead that they can confiscate your life savings, family farm or the small community bank that your family spent a lifetime building on behalf of a gracious government.

Of course, the government will then take the proceeds from your life savings, family farm or the small community bank that your family spent a lifetime building to study the gas emanations of the endangered New Mexican Painted Ring Worm.

And can you blame them?

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LIVE people would never pay for something as stupid as Ring Worm Gas studies- even live liberals.
So you can see how important these death taxes can be to our long-term fiscal health given that our population- outside of Washington- mostly consists of "live" people with an occasional unsouled, undead guy like George Soros thrown in.

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And given how many really dumb ideas that congress and the president have, I think I can see a pandemic coming on.

So, maybe it's just my personal taste, but I'm reluctant to endorse any scheme that rewards the government for my death.

Don't quote me on this, but I think that was one of the implied arguments in the Federalist Papers or the Bill of Rights or the Declaration of Independence.

I vaguely recall something about life, liberty, property, as opposed to, say, death, taxes and Federal Grants for Parched Southwestern Scientists who Look at your Death as a Significant Line Item in the Federal Budget for Ring Worm Studies.

So let's agree that the whole "die and the government benefits" scheme seems sketchy to me.

And in a way, it seems to me not just ironic, but also poetic-and scary- that the ideology that considers death foolish for something as meaningful as liberty or freedom would promote death as a patriotic duty once death gets enshrined into their Bible known as the federal register.

And that takes us to another notable Democrat reform that requires your death.

Step one (1) in Obama's healthcare "reform" isn't:  YOU DIE.

No; in this revenue "savings" scheme known as healthcare "reform" they leave the part where you die to an end of their choosing.

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Budget deficits? You die.

Healthcare inflation? You die.

Reliably conservative member of Supreme Court? Bingo!

And, by the way, I've been meaning to tell you: For the sake of those federally-subsidized, Southwest scientists, your death is going WAAAY over budget this year.

They REALLY need the proceeds from your life savings, family farm or the small community bank that your family spent a lifetime building.

THIS year... please. They are waiting.

Now how are the Democrats going to manage voter registration reform?

Oh wait....


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