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How To Be A Thug and Have Social Media Defend You

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

How many of you have ever wanted to beat the crap out of an aging high school teacher who’s just trying to do his unappreciated and underpaid job in a whacked-out world, and have yourself appear as a “victim” even though you spawned the aforementioned hell?


You have? Well then … keep reading.

In addition, have you ever asked your self, “Self… how can I be a belligerent human hemorrhoid on society’s butt and totally shut down a classroom, to such an extent that law enforcement gets called to sort out my sorry backside and then, after all the utter, selfish and despicable chaos I created, I get to have social media blame the cop for trying to do his extremely difficult, newly despised and grossly underpaid job?”

If you answered “Yes” to one or both of the above, then boy howdy … are you in luck today because I have discovered a key to cudgel-off blame and not only get away with such bellicose behavior, but actually have you, possibly, morphed into a hero in the United States Of Asininity. Heck, not only is there a great probability that your pathetic person will be declared a hero, but you’ll probably also have one of the Kardashian girls wanna hook up with you.

The key to trying to get away with this untoward and totally ridiculous, anti-social behavior in Obamaland is that you must be Black and the authority figures must be White, or Asian, or light-skinned Hispanics or some sort of pigmental amalgam that the media can initially posit as a racist gringo.

WARNING: I cannot underscore this enough: This thuggish behavior will not work if you’re remotely White.

Yep, if you’re a White, whitish or whitely thug, then … forget about it. The social media and “news outlets” will not run interference for you. White pundits will not advocate on your behalf.


Indeed, even white extremists groups will not defend your bad behavior. The grand wizard, Whitey Whitebread, of the World Wide World of Whiteness said he would disown any Caucasian who would dare to do such childish, rude and disgusting deeds.

If you think I’m nutty in my analysis, here’s a case in point from Spring Valley High School in Columbia, South Carolina that we reported on this last week:

Deputy Ben Fields, who happens to be White, arrested a high school girl, who happens to be Black, after she refused to comply with a number of the teacher and the LEO’s commands.

This incident was caught on video and the officer was shown to be using force to arrest the female student. But what was not shown was what had happened just prior to the video –- and any sane person should have immediately asked themselves why the officer would do this. However, the Outrage Brigade on the Internet did not.

Here’s the timeline of what actually happened:

1.) Girl disrupts class. Teacher asks her to stop. Girl refuses.

2.) Teacher asks girl to leaves class. Girl refuses.

3.) Teacher calls down to the office … again… asking girl to leave. Girl refuses.

4.) Office sends up an “officer” who, one more time, asks the girl to come with him. Girl refuses.

5.) Officer then tells girl that she needs to leave, or she will be forcefully removed. Girl refuses.

6.) Officer grabs girl to remove her from desk. She punches the officer and attempts to kick free, flipping over her own desk.


7.) Officer drags her from the desk as he repeatedly asks her to put her hands behind her back. She continually refuses.

Numbers 1-3 occurred before the video even began, but it didn’t matter. Within minutes, the Outrage Brigade, upset at the fact that they didn’t have anything to be offended over in the previous thirty minutes, immediately called for the badge of the “evil, racist cop”.

Facts didn’t matter. Context didn’t matter. And the fact that there was absolutely zero evidence that race played any role whatsoever, didn't matter: clearly, the cop was a “racist”.

Now, see, wannabe-thugs, how easy it is to get away with insane behavior that would otherwise not be afforded to any white punk?

Heck, white kids can’t wear American flag shirts to school or bite a pop-tart into the shape of a gun without having both the school, social media and MSNBC pitch them as right-wing terrorists out to slaughter the innocent masses.

But you can – but only if you’re Black and the authority figure is White. Never forget that.

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