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OPINION

I Hate to Say This But... Hillary Will Be Our Next President

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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After watching Hillary’s Oscar winning performance last Thursday before The House Select Committee On Benghazi, I’m now completely convinced that Hillary could stand naked on the smoldering carcass of Chris Stevens while smoking a fat Bob Marley-sized joint, as she screamed aloud the contents of Mein Kampf, and the Left would hail her a Warrior Poet. She’s the new Lizard King … she can do anything.

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Matter of fact, if I were Satan, I’d start sweating my crimson butt off because The Hildebeest made the Serpent of Old look like a clunky, overly honest used-car salesmen. Our Faust is female, y’all.

Not one person and not one question rattled Hillary. As in no one. As in nada, nothing, zilch, zero, zippo got under her wrinkled, Bill-averse flesh. Bow and kiss the ring, peeps, and meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Hillary’s flawless and skillful execution wasn't because she was telling the truth -- because she wasn’t. She knew she was peddling lies and everyone and their iguana knew that she was stretching the truth through her Frito Pie-hole. But it didn’t/doesn’t matter because she did it with such amazing precision. And that’s all that matters in our unfortunate day; namely, an adept ability to con abecedarian Americans.

The only weird moment Hillary had came via that coughing fit, which was completely understandable because one can only spout so much bullcrap until it triggers mucus to drain down the back of one's throat, causing one to cough.

Yep, folks, I obviously thought she was good and that she took blowing bollocks to an Olympic level that Obama could only dream of. In comparison to and in contrast with Obama’s attempts at regaling us with his gobbledygook, please note that she didn’t have all the “uhs” and and “ums” that accompany the president when he’s slinging hash. It was deception perfection on steroids, ladies and gents.

That said, I predict salesmen, shady evangelists, “journalists,” members of Congress, psychopaths, mean girls and Facebook stalkers, in days to come, will study her subtleties because what she wielded was some world-class wiles.

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For stage purposes, Hillary looked completely “presidential” during her Benghazi cross. Completely comfortable. Nearly too comfortable.

I don’t believe any of the GOPers could’ve even come close to doing what Hillary did in deceiving The United States of Duh. Especially, Marco Rubio. Rubio would’ve never been able to pull off that sleight-of-hand. Marco sweats when he tells the truth. He perspires more that a 15-year-old boy at a Beyoncé concert. He's a rookie. Hillary's a pro.

And that’s what our presidency has come down to, folks; namely, the ability to adeptly deceive, blame-shift and bamboozle a daft, distracted and dilatory electorate. And if one has, like Hillary has, a demonic ability to spin, coupled with an adoring media that’ll run interference for you, then boom! You’re our next president.

Finally, and hopefully, God willing, I'm wrong. But if you under-estimate this old chick and the nefarious forces behind her, then you do it to our nation's detriment.

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