Dear Black Thugs: You’re Making It Hard For White Devils to Believe You’re Innocent Children

Posted: Aug 25, 2013 12:01 AM
According to the Media, President Obama and the slick-haired Al Sharpton, we white devils are supposed to feel very sorry for the plight of the black teen.

I believe Americans, by and large, do have sympathy for any person or group who’ve had life deal them a bad hand.

However, young black thugs, you’ve got to work with us a little bit because you’re kind of operating against the storyline the aforementioned are singing about y’all, and thus, making it difficult for us to soulfully commiserate.

Of what, pray tell, do I speak?

Well, homeslice, it goes something like this: For us to give a crap about your below-par existence we’d like to hear less and less about…

- Your ghastly grades in school

- Your ridiculous dropout rates

- Your colossal out of wedlock birthrates

- Your embracing of a musical culture that celebrates the shooting of cops and doing filthy, vile things to someone’s daughter

- Your love affair with drugs and alcohol

- Your #hatethem tweets aimed at white people

- Your flash mobbing and robbing places and people

- Your audacity to blame everybody and their dog for your odious behavior

- And your ginormous, misplaced racial chip on your shoulder

Yes, if you could/would chill on some of that stuff, well … That’d be great. That would make us crackers think, “Hey, maybe you’re serious about getting out of the ditch you’re in.”

Another difficult thing that makes it hard for us to believe you’re just poor, helpless victims of the machine is when a couple of teens from your crew gun down an innocent, twenty-two-year-old, white, Aussie student just to spice up the inherent boredom which accompanies the dog-days of summer. That act of uncut evil helps us not. Yep, that heinous stunt really makes all this “poor you” crap fly right out our windows.

And lastly, and I hate to be negative, but there was one more incident perpetrated by two black teens this week that also unraveled the sweet story Sharpton and the President would have us believe. It was the beating death of an eighty-eight-year-old, WWII vet in Spokane, Washington. That demonic deed, coupled with the murder of Chris Lane this week, makes it impossible for anyone with a brain to feel anything towards your personal dilemma except, “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.”

Yes, the brutal murder of someone’s grandpa and the senseless slaying of someone’s son by black thugs this past week do nothing but reinforce what the FBI National Crime Victimization Survey concluded, namely, that young black males are seven times more likely to commit murder than people of other races.

So, young black thugs, if you’d like us to empathize, trust and help you with a hand-up, howzabout cease and desist with the inhumane behavior, huh? Until then, we’ll be suspicious of young black teens, traveling in groups, taking an unusual interest in our person, especially if they’re dressed like gangbangers and are acting suspiciously.

Call us weird.