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Good Girl with Gun Lives, Bad Guy with Knife Dies

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

In my world, if a violent altercation occurs between two humans, the innocent assaulted party should live, and if anybody has to die or get critically wounded, it should be the sadistic perpetrator. Call me freaky.

To make certain this occurs, the innocent party has to be able to do one or two things when the crap hits the fan:

1. Open up a can of whup ass and immobilize the foul weed, thus sending him to the hospital.

2. Double-lung the loser with a hot dose of lead, thus sending him to hell.

Yes, the one being preyed upon has to be able to do the abovementioned because the quickest cop on the planet cannot respond fast enough to save your backside should things go violently south. You dig? Oh, I know … it will never happen to you.

Of the aforementioned, an 18-year-old Oklahoma teen mom, Sarah McKinley, selected option #2 this past week. McKinley, who had just lost her husband to lung cancer on Christmas Day, was home with her 3-month-old baby boy on New Year’s Eve when two dillweeds decided they were going to break into her casa. Good Sarah was having none of it. Are you paying attention, ladies? You are? Excellent.

McKinley, upon hearing and spotting one of the Darwinian holdovers wielding a 12-inch hunting knife, cordoned off her door with a couch, put a bottle in her kid’s mouth to keep him calm and then proceeded to the sweet place where her 12-gauge shotgun and handgun reside. Smart chick. I bet Jesus really likes her.

Upon arming herself, she called 911 to get a green light from dispatch to dispatch the two dipsticks of bad intent. Sarah is both polite and deadly—a two-fer, boys. Upon getting the nod from Nine One One, McKinley then dusted the knife wielder, and the other bandit fled the scene and was later arrested when Goofy called emergency to report his dead buddy.

This is the kind of story that we should read about more often; namely, the evil SOB is dead, and the innocent girl and her baby are alive, and all of this occurred because the femme fatale had the wherewithal and the knowledge to defend herself with a lethal weapon—also known as my friend, the gun.

Check it out, mamas: I guarantee that as she was sitting there alone with her tiny bambino on New Year’s Eve, Sarah probably thought that things couldn’t get any worse after losing her husband on Christmas Day. And yet things did get worse. But, thankfully, she was trained and had a gun. This dire situation ended well for her and hers all because of her wood and metal amigo … the gun.

How would you fare, my dear reader, if you were tossed in that same situation? Would the headline read the same as dear Sarah’s does, or would the perpetrator gain the upper hand because you can’t or won’t protect yourself, your brood and your castle?

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