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The Trump Rebellion

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

For this weekend I was originally going to write on five reasons why Obama will be reelected in 2012. Why the gloomy prediction? Well, for me at least, it’s primarily because this current crop of GOP hopefuls gets me about as excited as watching Joy Behar doing an interpretive dance in Borat’s thong to The Doors’ classic hit “Riders on the Storm” (the extended version) while smoking a cigar with spinach in her teeth.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like certain—or many—aspects of the various conservative contenders who are starting to jockey for position; it simply means that I think Obama the Swiffer would dust them with his billion dollar Chi-town based voter fraud fueled spin machine. That’s all.

So, what caused me to change the topic for this week’s screed? Well, I saw The Donald open up a can of verbal whup ass on Obama on Hannity last Thursday and Friday night. It was extremely convincing in that he had refreshingly solid, no-BS answers for the multifaceted debacles “the worst president ever” has entrenched us in and explained how he sees himself as the crap-cutting dealmaker to pull us out.

And it seems that I’m not alone in finding DT’s comments compelling. According to every poll out there America really digs what Donald is doing, and he’s either tied or ahead of the GOP wannabe pack. Trump is even polling better than Barack in the new Biden/Michelle Obama poll. It’s a madhouse, folks. A madhouse.

Another thing that makes me hopeful that Donald can trump Obama in 2012 is that David Plouffe, the White House’s chief ploofer, says that Trump has “zero chance” at becoming president. This translates to me as they’re shaking in their taxpayer-funded wingtips over there at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and are praying to God (or whoever the hell they pray to) that Trump doesn’t run.

I was at my favorite cigar bar in Miami this past week when one of my good conservative Cuban aficionados asked me if I could really vote for Trump, to which I said, “Uh … yeah. I voted for McCain. I still haven’t forgiven myself. Pray for me.”

Here are my buddy’s problems with Trump:

1. He’s arrogant. My answer: Well, if he is, it’s not without cause.

He’s insanely successful. There’s nothing wrong about being right. (like I am with my parenting book. I believe it’s the best book in the world on raising righteous and rowdy girls, and my nation- changing kids prove it. It’s a fact, Jack. No need to be bashful.) As far as Trump is concerned, his business accomplishments are legendary. Why shouldn’t he be proud? BHO’s main claim to fame, before Soros put the first affirmative action president into the White House, was ACORN.

2. He’s an adulterer. As a Christian and a conservative I’m supposed to shun Donald because he’s an adulterer, to which I say, according to the biblical maxim … well, aren’t we all? I believe Jesus said that if you look lustfully at a woman it’s the same as if you shagged her. One comedian put it succinctly by telling the sanctimonious who condemn those who’ve literally wandered from their marital vows by saying, “He that hath an empty hand, let him throw the first stone.”

3. Trump is not serious, and this is just a publicity stunt. Yeah? Well, it’s a value added punking as he is saying all the things to Obama and his ilk that Americans want someone with a big prime time megaphone to say.

I think the Trump Rebellion is dee-licious. It’s injecting attitude and information, not via some tepid politico but via a mogul who has had enough of Barack’s bunkum, who gets the socialistic game Hussein is hoisting on us, and who hates countries who hate and use us. Trump is probably the only one with the money (or who could get the sufficient cash) to go up against this Soros-funded reelection hell machine.

So, is The Donald the perfect candidate? Look, Spanky, no one is perfect.

Jesus was the only perfect person to schlep this rock. However, comb over be damned, I’d vote for Trump right now. My perfect candidate, however, would be an amalgam of several candidates, a combination of Donald Trump with Mitt Romney’s hair, Newt Gingrich’s grasp of American History, and Mike Huckabee’s heart. Bam! That’s gold. Pure gold.

Anyway, if DT does not take on BHO he sure as heck has shown the boys and girls looking on that you can take BHO on and not be McCain McNice about it, and giddy Americans will line up behind you because they are pig sick of how Obama is destroying our great land.

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