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Why Palin Petrifies Progressives

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

According to the Progressives, women cannot be “real women” if they don’t fit the Progressives’ script. Yep, if a woman doesn’t march to the Left’s horse dung definition regarding what “they” (whoever the heck “they” are) have determined constitutes a real woman, she is illegitimate.

For instance, for the shemales at NOW and their misandrist ilk, a woman is not a woman, in their estimation:

- If she’s not cool with killing unborn babies

- If she’s not into hating men who act like masculine men

- If she’s not into being a mannish lesbian

- If she’s not into blaming every global ill on Old Glory

- And if she’s not into worshipping big government

Yep, ladies, you’re not a “real woman” if you do not agree with their garish political description of what it “really means” to own a uterus.

BTW … I’ve got a question for some of the lesbians out there: If men “suck so bad” and are so “rank and vile,” why do you get a man’s haircut, lower your voice to sound like Sam Elliot and wear men’s Dockers? If you’re going to do gay, follow Portia de Rossi’s lead, por favor (that would make it much easier on the eyes and ears for us homophobes, okay?). No offense, of course. I’m just sayin’. Anyway…

Here’s why I believe the dour democratic dames particularly dislike Palin. Check it out:

1. Palin’s hot and can rock a pair of heels, hunting boots, or any garment she dons. And you can tell she knows it and likes it. Most of the ladies on the Left, however, cannot—and we all know how jealous and petty some chicks can be when they’re aesthetically upstaged (cat fight).

2. They hate Sarah because she’s supposedly anti-intellectual. However, I’d love to see Tina Fey, Katie Couric or Joy Behag go mano a mano with her on any given topic and see who comes off looking like Snooki.

3. The feministas don’t dig SP because she’s had five kids (one of whom has Down’s Syndrome) and has never considered offing any of them in her womb.

4. She believes in the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, and they hate Christians.

5. She’s a conservative, and they hate conservatives.

6. She’s insanely successful, and she did it without curtsying to their wacked weltanschauung.

7. Her husband’s not some prissy, manicured metrosexual man-child but an ass kicking Alaskan.

8. She hunts and fishes. Her motto: Shoot it. Stuff it. Hang it on a wall, baby.

9. She’s unapologetic to all of the above.

10. And finally, they know that if she ever makes it to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue that she’s going to hand the Dems their shriveled BB-sized cojones on a free market platter while the majority of the USA gives her a standing ovation.

And that, my children, is why Palin petrifies the paranormal progressives.

The end.

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