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Tom Hanks: Stupid Is as Stupid Does

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

What the heck is wrong with Hollywood’s elite? Do they reach a certain monetary threshold, receive an Academy Award or a Golden Globe, and then get whisked away to a secret B. F. Skinner lab in Hollywood where “they” suck the brains out of their skulls and install the Michael Moore Crap-O-Matic, which programs the talented and successful abductee to think and say that America is the devil on any and all issues? Is that what happens?

For an amazing actor and director, especially one who has focused so much on the World War II era, it’s clear that Tom Hanks has jumped the sane shark of historical reality and has landed, headfirst, in the rocky shallows of complete and utter revisionist bunkum with his latest comments on why America entered the war in the Pacific and why we’re killing Islamic combatants now.

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For those who do not follow the tripe which spews from Hollywood’s charmed and preening pie-holes, last week Tom told Time magazine during a presser promoting his new HBO miniseries, The Pacific, that the conflict in the Pacific during World War II commenced way back when, little kiddies, because Americans were a bunch of “racists and terrorists” who viewed the Japanese as “yellow, slant-eyed dogs that believed in different gods.”

Really, Tom? Garsh. That’s weird. My uncle, Orville, fought in the Pacific, was captured by the Japanese, experienced the Bataan Death March, and spent three years undergoing torture as a POW in Mongolia; he thought he went through all that hell because the Japanese bombed us at Pearl Harbor and killed over two thousand of our personnel.

And what’s weird, Tom old boy, is that not only did my uncle believe Pearl Harbor to be the reason why we stomped the Japanese into A-bomb submission, but so do the vast majority of Americans who can read and who do not live with their heads up Hollywood’s butt.

Hanks, not content to simply appear as a generic jackass but a super-sized, lying-through-his-teeth, are-you-kidding-me reality stylist went on to tell Time, “They were out to kill us because our way of living was different. We, in turn, wanted to annihilate them because they were different. Does that sound familiar, by any chance, to what's going on today?”

Wrong again, Hanks my man. The reason we’re killing Achmed and his violent ilk is because of this event that the left would love for us to forget about or tremendously downplay: It’s called the terrorist attack of 9/11.

Yep, señor Hanks, we’re not killing Islamofascists because they are different. America embraces diversity. In the U.S. you can pretty much be and do whatever the hell you want. Heck, look at Barney Frank and Lady Gaga. No, Tom, the reason we want them crushed by our finest is because these Muslim morons attacked and killed 2,973 innocent people—and not because they don’t like bacon.

How in God’s name Hanks can make these amazing war movies and meet the great men and women who nobly fought and bled for our country and then come up with that kind of cockamamie caca eclipses my po’ little intellect. But then again I don’t live in Beverly Hills. Maybe Hanks is confused from that two-year crossing dress stint on Bosom Buddies. Who knows? Someone ought to check on Kip Wilson to see how he’s doing.

Finally, Tom, your derisive diatribe about our diehard military men and women is one weird way to promo a WWII special on the Pacific War. I know I’m officially not watching that stuff. You might as well have called all of our mothers hookers. No wonder millions of Americans who love this country are truly beginning to hate Hollywood.

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