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OPINION

Exposed! ACORN Gets Its Nuts Cracked: Teenage Prostitutes, Money Laundering and Tax Fraud

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

It appears as if ACORN is not just into soup kitchens, daycare, voter fraud and town hall intimidation; they will also help a young wannabe Madame jumpstart a whorehouse. ShamWow, folks! Community organizing, indeed! I mean . . . what community is complete and feels truly organized without some hookers in the hood? God bless 'em. It brings a tear to your eye, now doesn't it? Hope and change, folks. Hope and change.

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Culture of Corruption by Michelle Malkin FREE

Just imagine how tricky it must be for a young adult to get her dream of selling sex off the ground during an economic recession in a competitive market (sex trafficking) with the banks slow to dole out cash for small loans to a brothel. I'm guessin' it's brutal.

And we're not just talking about selling any old sex but 13-year-old El Salvadoran sex. It's got to be really grueling to launch that bad boy, eh? It's not like you can go to college or trade school to learn how to farm out the flesh, eh?

That's where ACORN comes in-and here's where their light truly shines and their magnanimity really blows us all away.

Do you think I'm making this stuff up about these creepy community organizers and their dirty deeds done on your dime? Because, y'know, I could be, seeing that I am a mean, old conservative mobster and all. Would ACORN reps actually doing the aforementioned on video make you a believer? It would? Well giddy up because there happens to be a boatload of fresh footage destined to crack ACORN's nuts!

In an espionage adventure that James Bond and Simon Templar would be proud of, two young filmmakers posed as civilians wanting to run a house of prostitution and infiltrated ACORN with video cameras rolling and found the nutty ACORN employees absolutely giddy about helping the characters with the following:

- How to start up their dream whorehouse with 13-year-old girls imported from El Salvador.

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- How to fly their house of ill repute under the radar as a "performing arts" center because the girls "are performing" and it is "a form of art." Wink, wink.

- How to avoid paying any taxes on the revenue generated by their 'clients'.

- How to fraudulently claim the underage illegal alien hookers as dependants on their year-end taxes.

- How to funnel portions of their prostitutes hard earned dollars into congressional campaign coffers.

If you haven't seen this stunning reportage yet on FOX, you can see it in living color on Andrew Breitbart's new website BigGovernment.com as well as GlennBeck.com and right here on Townhall.

Lastly, if the FBI has any extra time and any spare agents to pull off their multi-state investigation of ACORN for voter registration fraud from the last election, they might want to dispatch some of their top guns out to Baltimore's ACORN offices because all the abovementioned sorta sounds illegal, doesn't it?

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