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OPINION

Political Prostitutes

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta

Remember that scene in "Pretty Woman" where Richard Gere orders the strawberries and champagne sent to his hotel suite? Julia Roberts looks at him, says how she appreciates the effort, but it's unnecessary because "I'm a sure thing." Say what you will about prostitutes, there's no real ambiguity about where they stand…at least in the sex trade, and they do have some standards. Prostitutes in politics, however, will do anything for a buck and have no limits.

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I get that people "evolve" in their opinions over time, it happens to everyone. When I was younger, I didn't really care about abortion one way or another. The idea that a pregnancy involved a kid was a foreign concept – I didn't have kids and didn't ever want any. Then I grew up, got married and had two. Aside from being terrifying as a concept, you realize they're a life and have been all along. I'm not taking to the streets or anything, but I have definitely opened my eyes on the subject. 

What I don't understand, and what made me think of prostitutes, is those people who change on every issue all at once. When I was younger, it was Arianna Huffington and David Brock – two people who professed to be conservatives who switched on a dime to fully embrace seemingly every aspect of liberalism. Nothing they once declared to care deeply about remained in what they became, and the only plausible explanation was huge piles of cash they received from leftists. 

And that seems to be the pattern: someone purportedly on the right "transitions," if you will, to being a champion of the left with a big pile of money to protect them when they land. 

You really have to ask yourself one question, "Were you lying then, or are you lying now?" There really isn't a third option – prostitutes either have sex for money or they're not prostitutes. 

I think of this every time I see one of The Lincoln Project goons on social media. I don't follow any of them because why would anyone? But occasionally, someone I do follow retweets one of them and I can't help but be reminded of Julia Roberts.

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Michael Steele is someone I know, or at least did, and used to respect. It's amazing how dedicated to not having to work for a bunch of money someone can be, and that's Mike. The former RNC Chairman is now a call girl for MSNBC – giving them cover to pretend to have a conservative on their network, much like Joe Biden pretends to be a "devout Catholic." What is Michael Steele conservative on? No idea.

An embarrassment to the party, Steele spends his time on social media whining about Republicans, playing the race card, and ironically tweeting about the "ethics" of conservatives who haven't whored themselves out to the left. He's a few hair implants away from being Rachel Maddow.

Then we have Rick Wilson, patient zero in Trump Derangement Syndrome, infected with Trump Tourette's – an embarrassing desire to advance the agenda of anyone in opposition to the former president for the change in their pocket or to sell a few books. What sane, uninfected person would kiss Don Lemon's ass?

I don't know Rick, but I have friends who've met him and swear he's "a nice guy." Have you ever heard of an argumentative hooker? His "claim to fame," if you can call it that, is being a douchebag who pretends his douchebaggery being pointed out to him is Viagra for his soul. He also reportedly has a fetish for the Confederate flag. I honestly have no idea what he's done in his career and only ever heard of him once The Lincoln Project started.

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The same goes for Reid Galen and George Conway. I still don't know what Galen had to "sell out," but he's raked in a fortune by paying himself millions for whatever it was he did. Conway appears to have suffered from penis envy of his soon-to-be ex-wife Kellyanne; she's run a successful presidential campaign and he…I don't know, maybe singlehandedly is bringing back the feathered hair and no chin look?

Steve Schmidt eventually walked away from The Lincoln Project's board (but somehow not the group itself), allegedly over their enabling of founding member John Weaver propositioning a bunch of underage male interns. He'd milked the cow dry and made a fortune by then, so who cares? He's still on television pretending to be a conservative.

There are more people – Tara Setmayer, Kurt Bardella, Winsor Mann and others you likely couldn't name or list anything good they add to the world if your life depended on it. The organization is the political equivalent of dingleberries, clingers who bring nothing to the table (and quite possibly smell).

All of these people still pretend to be conservatives, but on what issues? None of them, or anyone working with them, has met a Republican they can't bring themselves to whine about. They are Trump Derangement Syndrome after it emerged from the Wuhan lab, they've now metastasized into hating everyone with an "R" after their name. If they didn't, they'd be off TV and donations would suffer. They scream racism more frequently than Al Sharpton; they're Joy Reid, only feminine. How do they sleep at night? On a pile of money. I suppose that's enough. It has to be because, unlike the movies, no one actually loves the prostitute.

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Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly "Week in F*cking Review" podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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