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Nancy Pelosi Is Sorry

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AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

She’s rich, one of the wealthiest Members of Congress EVER, but that doesn’t mean that Nancy Pelosi isn’t going to try to milk poor suckers out of a little bit more of their credit card limit. I honestly don’t know how she lives with herself; when she’s rotting in Hell maybe she will reflect on this as well as the insider trading that made her so wealthy and her lust for abortion as a “devout Catholic.” Until then, know that she’s sorry. Not for the hypocrisy, not for the graft, but for the begging. 

The last week of March saw a crush of emails from Pelosi’s campaign, which is now a political action committee designed to make sure she never has to dip into her family’s inheritance in her retirement; she can just use this cash by pretending everything she does is somehow Democrats campaign-related. It was the “end of the quarter,” a meaningless deadline that just meant they had to file paperwork with the Federal Election Commission. Politicians use it as some kind of absolute deadline to lie to suckers that if they don’t hit some kind of an arbitrary goal 2 years before an election, it will mean an inevitable defeat. 

It takes a special kind of stupid to fall for this, but we are dealing with Democrats – a special kind of stupid is what they are.

After that deadline, you’d think you’d give your list of suckers, er, supporters, a break, a moment to catch their breath. You’d be wrong. 

Cults can’t give people a moment off, and there are no “weekend passes” for the average drone, lest they see how the rest of the world works and, worse, how free, smart people think for themselves. Democrats have to be relentless or else. It’s the same reason they “watch Fox News so you don’t have to” – they are terrified some of their bases might be exposed to contrary opinions or inconvenient facts, so they discourage (forbid, really) any of them from watching conservative media.

In fundraising, this tactic manifests itself in the form of a constant barrage of Joseph Goebbels-level propaganda emails painting a picture of a world that simply doesn’t exist. But if you trust Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, or any of the other vipers in the Democrat Party, you have already crossed a line into another reality.

As I write this, we are 9 days into April, and Pelosi has sent 10 lie-filled emails begging for money. On the last day or March, Nancy sent on under the subject line, “My final ask,” it opened, “I hate to bother you again, but I need ONE last push of help from my strongest supporters. I am hoping for just 1 more gift from your ZIP code before my FIRST End of Quarter Deadline of the year.”

If I’m one of her “strongest supporters,” having never given a penny, she’s in trouble. 

But the whole thing is a lie, a lie told to dumb people who believe it. 

Two days later, Nancy was back with “Trump announcement BACKFIRES.” How? “I’m stunned, the emails starts, “I just learned that Trump has raised a horrifying $500 MILLION since his MASSIVE election loss — all to endanger our country again. I hate to alarm you, but this is the kind of cash that could buy Donald Trump the Presidency – and help him destroy our Democracy in the process. I’ll fight tooth and nail to ensure this election-denying extremist and his allies NEVER set foot in the halls of power again. So I just launched a plan to make his sorry run for President completely BACKFIRE.”

Ooh, so what’s the plan? “Here’s my plan: I’m uniting a historic response — 5,000 Team Pelosi Memberships — to completely OUTRAISE Trump’s 2023 haul, prove that every single American who supports and honors our Constitution stands ready to stop him and his allies from EVER barging back into our White House and hand them the most HUMILIATING defeat of their life. I know we can send Trump a message he will never forget — Democracy will WIN at the ballot box — but ONLY if we can start the month out strong. Will you rush $15 before midnight to renew your Team Pelosi Membership and prove that Democrats stand ready to keep Donald Trump and his election deniers OUT of power and save our Democracy, no matter the cost?”

She’s going to combat half a billion dollars with $75,000?

Of course, she is not. It’s not about Trump; it’s about her. Get people to give, no matter what. No lie is too big.

Nancy then sent one reading, “I’m sorry.” I thought for a second some basic human decency crept into her heart. Then, upon reading it, I remembered she doesn’t have one; it’s been replaced by disgusting progressive politics. 

“I’m sorry to email again,” she lies, “but you need to see this. Top elections forecasters just announced the battle for the House is now a complete TOSS UP. How we prepare in early months like this WILL decide who wins the election, so I’m counting on every grassroots Democrat to step up to the challenge. I need 2,037 supporters to rush in an urgent contribution before midnight to help us jump on this moment, hit the ground running, and put an UNBEATABLE plan in place to win – can I count on your immediate $15?”

Apparently, that earlier $75,000 wasn’t enough; she needs another $30,555. Like a junkie, no amount is ever enough. 

Nancy is sorry. So sorry, in fact, that in the following 2 days, she sent another 3 emails, including one trying to fundraise off Easter, Passover, and Ramadan together. She truly is the scum of the earth…and very, very sorry (just not in the way she means it). 


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