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The Dumbest Biden

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Susan Walsh

If you watched Joe Biden’s press conference this week, his first in one day shy of the number of years he’s been alive (78 days), you were likely not thrilled. When the best thing sycophants in the left-wing media can say about the event is “He stood for 2 hours!” you know it was more of a testament to the quality of his adult diaper than a declaration of a winning performance. But the truth is no one named Biden is capable of giving a winning performance. They are not smart people, and they are not good people.


The Biden myth – this idea that Joe is some average guy who found himself in politics, but never lost his “middle-class Joe” roots is a joke. Joe was never middle class. His family was wealthy until his father squandered the money. It seems no one with the name Biden was particularly bright.

The last time Joe “worked” an honest job for a living was when he said he really enjoyed young black kids petting his “hairy legs” and, allegedly, nearly rumbled with “Corn Pop.” There’s something sick about a person who feels that way about very young children petting them and something wrong with a person who feels the need to tell the story publicly. 

But since they, Joe has been in “public service,” which is code for government jobs. That gave him power and a level of job security most people never experience. If the people of Delaware were dumb enough to elect him, he was set. 

Joe’s story isn’t compelling or even interesting, so he lies about it. It’s a sign of wild insecurity that he lies about his life the way he does – from academic achievements, which he claims but did not have, to the tragic death of his first wife and daughter, which he blamed for years on a drunk driver but simply is not true. Again, there is something deeply wrong with a man who would not only exploit the death of family members, but would also lie in the process. 

Then again, as I’ve said many times before, there really isn’t an aspect of his life Joe hasn’t lied about. He’s just always been on the side of the media, so they give him a pass.


It’s not just Joe who gets the pass, it’s anyone named Biden. 

Jill Biden, Joe’s second wife, is mandatorily called “Doctor Biden” because she was tossed a pity Ph.D. from the University of Delaware at a time when Joe was the state’s senior Senator and had spent a lifetime shoveling tax dollars to the institution. 

She wanted the degree because, she says, she was sick of getting mail addressed to “Senator and Ms. Biden.” She wanted her own title, so people dependent upon her husband gave her one. Don’t believe me? Read her dissertation, “Student Retention at the Community College: Meeting Students’ Needs.” In addition to being wildly insecure, she’s dumb too. 

Jill dresses the part…of a teenage with insecurities inversely proportional to her intelligence. She views herself as First Lady as “healer.” She told the Associated Press, “I didn’t kind of expect, which was like a healing role, because we’ve faced so much as a nation.” Can you imagine any American suffering a tragedy thinking to themselves, “If only Jill Biden were here to comfort me…and insist I call her doctor”? 

“I would want to know that my president and first lady cared about me,” Jill continued. “I think that’s an important part of what I do. I mean, just helping people through the tough times.” Her idiot husband is running the economy into the ground, driving up inflation and harming real people, but there are hugs!


Jill’s first husband is still alive, and in a story that would be front page news were her name Melania Trump, tells how she started having an affair with Joe while they were still married. Since she’s a Biden, the media has little interest. 

The only real question is who is the dumbest Biden? You probably think it’s Joe simply because you see so much of him, and each time he’s saying something false, stupid, or both (like claiming he was arrested marching for civil rights when we all know, and he’s publicly admitted multiple times, that he never marched for civil rights). But don’t underestimate Jill in this contest. She is epically dumb in her own right. 

And they’re both, honestly, really bad people. Joe gets a tiny pass now because he’s senile on top of it – which leaves you wondering if some of the things he says are because he’s stupid or is it dementia? (or both) – but Jill is actively engaged in senior abuse by allowing Joe to be exploited how he is. You can’t expect someone insecure over how junk mail is addressed to give up the perks of living in the White House simply because her husband is suffering one public humiliation after another, can you?

When you have a hooker and stripper-banging, crack-smoking son in the family and there’s still a question over which member is the dumbest, you’ve stumbled onto a very “special” group of people. The Biden name is associated with a lot of arrests and abuses, so there isn’t really a winner in the bunch. Yet somehow, miraculously, they’ve managed to become fabulously wealthy with no discernable skills among them, except a willingness to exploit Joe’s position of public trust. 


In the end, it doesn’t really matter who the dumbest Biden is because ultimately the dumbest people around are those who voted for Joe. 

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show on WCBM in Maryland, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter

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