Opinion

Comey Cometh

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Posted: Apr 15, 2018 12:01 AM
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent the views of Townhall.com.
Comey Cometh

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock for the past 6 months, fired FBI Director James Comey has a book coming out Tuesday, called A Higher Loyalty. Its release has the media collectively tingling like Chris Matthews’ leg watching Barack Obama speeches. But will it matter?

Make no mistake about it, the book will sell. James Comey will be showered with so much glowing media attention that he’ll look like those mythical Russian prostitutes from the non-existent video from the dossier at a water drinking contest. 

But at the end of the day, nothing will be changed. 

By all accounts, the book lacks serious revelations. The Amazon page describes it, in part, by saying, “Comey shares his never-before-told experiences from some of the highest-stakes situations of his career in the past two decades of American government, exploring what good, ethical leadership looks like, and how it drives sound decisions. His journey provides an unprecedented entry into the corridors of power, and a remarkable lesson in what makes an effective leader.” 

Riveting, right?

Yet, it’s chock full of liberal fever-dream reinforcing tidbits that seem to be written specifically to titillate the panel on Morning Joe. When Comey writes, “His face appeared slightly orange with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assumed he placed small tanning goggles, and impressively coiffed, bright blonde hair, which upon close inspection looked to be all his,” of the President it seems specifically designed to appeal to Mika Brzezinski, who has never gotten over Trump exposing her facelift. Both may be true, neither is particularly mature. But we’ve been inundated with stories of Donald Trump’s immaturity, in many ways it’s part of his appeal for his supporters and torments his detractors. 

Comey, on the other hand, has been portrayed as a “serious man,” or “the last boy scout in Washington.” What we’ve seen so far from his book makes clear he’s every bit the man-child he proudly declares the President to be. Where Comey says Trump is “untethered from the truth” and “unethical,” the President calls him a “slime ball.” 

Neither comes off as the adult in the room, one just seems to be wearing out their thesaurus to call the other a “poopyhead.” 

Expectations of the President acting presidential have gone the way of the Dodo, and the people who love it or hate it aren’t going to have their minds changed by anything Donald Trump does or says. Two-thirds of the country, about half in each camp, have their opinions of both men baked into their respective cakes. The PR battle, as it is, is over the remaining third. That’s who Trump wants to win over, at least when it comes to voting. But Comey doesn’t need them. 

Comey’s main mission isn’t to impact the electorate, it’s to sell books – he’s not paid per vote he changes, he’s getting a royalty per copy sold. To that end, he has, in essence, written a book designed to reinforce liberal’s preconceived notions of Trump, a hymnal book for the MSNBC and CNN choir. 

Liberals looking for a smoking gun, or even a whiff of gunpowder, regarding the Russia probe will be disappointed. The New York Times reports the “book does not include dramatic new revelations about the Russia investigation.”

With nothing new to add to the narrative, Comey is reduced to petty personal swipes about Trump’s hair, height, and hand size. Were it not written by the former FBI Director, you might expect to find it scrawled on the walls of high school bathroom. 

In the absence of new information, and when not engaging in the moral equivalent of “I know you are, but what am I?” with the President, Comey does his best to ingratiate himself to the liberal media he’d so offended through his actions regarding Hillary Clinton’s shady activities.

Of Hillary, Comey writes, “I have read she has felt anger toward me personally, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do a better job explaining to her and her supporters why I made the decisions I made.”

For absolution, Comey bypasses Clinton and goes directly to the source of all good and light in the Democratic Party Industrial Complex: Barack Obama. In what reads like a letter of recommendation someone writes for themselves, Comey writes that after the election he met with Obama in the Oval Office. As if the Pope were forgiving him of all his sins, he says Obama told him, “I picked you to be FBI director because of your integrity and your ability. I want you to know that nothing has happened in the last year to change my view.”

It left Comey, according to those who’ve read the passage, “on the verge of tears.” His sins were absolved. 

Hillary has a less-forgiving soul, but Comey isn’t trying to sell her a book, he’s trying to sell to her voters. To those who can be reached, the Obama absolution will likely work, which is why this anecdote, true or not, was written about in the first place.

Aside from the money (and there will be a lot of that), the left’s continued PR war with the White House is why this book was written, and why it will be get an hour of primetime on ABC tonight and countless hours in the weeks to come. But like fire and fury churned up over the book “Fire and Fury” that turned into fizzle soon after, what will happen after the chattering class realizes there’s nothing between the slices of bread in this narrative sandwich? Will it matter?

Facts and evidence, or the lack thereof, haven’t really mattered to the media so far in the Trump presidency, but they do to the American people. This book will likely be forgotten in a month or two, as it should be. All the hype in the world will add an extra zero or two to Comey’s royalty check, but it can’t make it matter in the long run.

On a personal note, and speaking of books, I wrote one that will be coming out on June 19 from Harper Collins. It was just posted to Amazon and is called “OUTRAGE, INC: How the Liberal Mob Ruined Science, Journalism, and Hollywood.” You can preorder it here. I will be writing more about it as the release date approaches, but it’s factual and funny; put a lot of research into it. I hope you’ll give it a shot.