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OPINION

Why Did Bureaucrats Kill Giggles the Baby Deer? Because They Can

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

The bad news is that governments do a lot of things they shouldn’t do. The good news is that I never run out of material.

I’ve even created some sub-categories, such as my U.S. vs U.K. government stupidity contest and my great-moments-in-local-government series.

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But I never thought I would have a special category about bureaucrats vs. Bambi.

1. Bureaucrats in Virginia filed three misdemeanor charges against a man for the horrible crime of rescuing a deer that was hit by a car.

2. Bureaucrats in Maryland fined two men $90 each for not having life jackets when they had the gall to rescue a deer that fell through some ice.

3. Bureaucrats in Indiana are threatening prison time for a family that rescued a baby deer from coyotes.

The paper pushers of the world seem to harbor a special grudge against these harmless ruminants, since we now have another story about a baby deer. But this time, Bambi was the victim, not the family.

Here are some of the unbelievable details from a local news report.

Two weeks ago, Schulze was working in the barn at the Society of St. Francis on the Kenosha-Illinois border when a swarm of squad cars arrived and officers unloaded with a search warrant. “(There were) nine DNR agents and four deputy sheriffs, and they were all armed to the teeth,” Schulze said. The focus of their search was a baby fawn brought there by an Illinois family worried she had been abandoned by her mother.

My first reaction when reading this was “what the @#$*?” Is he public sector really so bloated that 13 bureaucrats have nothing better to do than to serve a search warrant for a baby deer?

And why on earth were they heavily armed? Were they expecting Osama Bin Bambi?

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But don’t answer yet, because it gets more absurd.

The Department of Natural Resources began investigating after two anonymous calls reporting a baby deer at the no-kill shelter. The warden drafted an affidavit for the search warrant, complete with aerial photos in which he described getting himself into a position where he was able to see the fawn going in and out of the barn.

I’m not sure what part of this excerpt gets me more upset, the fact that some snitch informed on the shelter for having a baby deer, or the fact that the government is so wasteful that bureaucrats went through the cost of arranging aerial surveillance!

Dangerous criminal executed

As a taxpayer, I get agitated about the waste of money. As a decent human being, this next part bothers me even more.

“I was thinking in my mind they were going to take the deer and take it to a wildlife shelter, and here they come carrying the baby deer over their shoulder. She was in a body bag,” Schulze said. “I said, ‘Why did you do that?’ He said, ‘That’s our policy,’ and I said, ‘That’s one hell of a policy.’”

The local cops justified the overkill approach by equating an animal shelter with a crack house.

“Could you have made a phone call before showing up, I mean, that’s a lot of resources,” WISN 12 News investigative reporter Colleen Henry asked. “If a sheriff’s department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don’t call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana or whatever drug that they have before they show up,” Niemeyer said,

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Horrified citizens are complaining and fighting back, though I’m not holding my breath that justice will be served.

Schultz said she plans to sue the DNR for removing Giggles without even a court hearing. She also questioned what such an operation costs taxpayers. “They went way over the top for a little tiny baby deer,” Schultz said,

Remember, though, that this type of government thuggery is hardly unusual.

The Food and Drug Administration raided a dairy for the terrible crime of selling unpasteurized milk to people who prefer unpasteurized milk.

New York City imposed a $30,000 fine on a small shop because it sold a toy gun.

The pinheads at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission went after Hooters for not having any male waiters in hot pants and tight t-shirts.

An unlucky guy wound up in legal hot water for releasing some heart-shaped balloons to impress his sweetheart.

Yup, our tax dollars at work. And Obama thinks government is too small and needs more of our money so it can do even more things.


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