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ABC News Buys AOC's Fraud, Reuters Trembles at Patriots, and Cuomo Is Found Hawking T-shirts

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"Riffed from the Headlines" is Townhall's daily VIP feature with coverage of the deeply flawed aspects of journalism in the nation. We'll look to bring accountability to the mishaps, malaprops, misdeeds, manipulations, malpractice, and manufactured narratives in mainstream media.

07.20.22

Low Octane Gas LIghting – ABC NEWS

By now, many have been made aware of the sham "arrest" that took place yesterday of Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar. They were protesting outside of the Supreme Court and were led away by police. Mind you, it was not "in handcuffs," despite their posing with their arms behind their back as they preened for the cameras, and they were never arrested but issued a $50 citation. 

At ABC News, however, they went ahead not only with their report that the posturing politicians had been arrested but used conveniently-angled photos to present the prevarication. This has to be intentional lying by the news network at this point. 

DNC PR Firm – CNN

In what cannot be regarded as a helpful effort, CNN's Chris Cillizza draws up his personal list of contenders for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2024. Not only does his list underscore the dearth of talent in the Democratic field, but Cillizza shows off his political acumen by placing (spoiler alert) Kamala Harris and Joe Biden in the top positions. 

Harris has her staffers running away at a record pace, and Joe is polling so bad it is just a matter of time until the party evacuates him from the presidency. But Chris has his knee on the pulse of the upcoming campaign…

Reporting on the MIrror – (Formerly) CNN

If you have been wondering what deposed primetime pundit Chris Cuomo has been up to since he was exiled from CNN last December, the answer is not much. He kind of brought suit against his former employer. He recently looked into becoming a volunteer firefighter. (He backed away once he learned there was an actual commitment.) And he has become a fashion designer. 

Well…he is selling clothing and other trinkets under Cuomomerch. He says it is for charity, yet the very generic design says nothing of what is being supported, nor does it in any way show a connection to Cuomo either. Maybe that is for the better…?

Blue-Anon – REUTERS

  • Remember when we were supposed to consider journalists to be brave firefighters?!

At this point, it can be a tossup whether this is a case of trying to gaslight the public into thinking everything is a threat or just a journalist who has fallen prey to all the hype that anyone displaying an iota of patriotism is automatically classified as an insurrection-supporting threat to our democracy. 

Whichever it is, this is hardly a good look for a supposed journalist. A handful of boomers are walking around, and some have American flags, and Patty here is reduced to a triggered, quivering mess. 

Artisanally-Crafted Narrative – WXIN FOX 59

  • Cannot allow there to be any positive gun news, now can we?

The Indianapolis mall shooting is a case of bad news that is leavened with some extraordinary news. One foodcourt patron managed to respond in seconds and take down the shooter with some impressive marksmanship skill. Yet the local news station had to look over the scene and find issue with the heroic move that saved an unknown number of lives. 

Body Checking the Fact Checkers – WASHINGTON POST

  • Defend the Precious at all costs, Glenn.

And yes, Joe Biden is at it again – speaking out loud, that is. And, once again, the man who speaks in hand grenades requires his people and the media to come in behind and clean up like the disaster team from ServePro. 

Coming to the rescue in dutiful fashion is Washington Post's resident truth detector, Glenn Kessler. As Glenn desperately explains, the president did not actually say he currently is ravaged by cancer but that he "had" cancer. So, once again, we are told to ignore our lying ears. 

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