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Ahoy, Captain Charlie Sykes! You Should Walk the Plank for Only Reading a Headline

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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"Riffed from the Headlines" is Townhall's daily VIP feature with coverage of the deeply flawed aspects of journalism in the nation. We'll look to bring accountability to the mishaps, malaprops, misdeeds, manipulations, malpractice, and manufactured narratives in mainstream media.

05.23.22

Pre-Written Field Reports – THE BULWARK

  • When those with the most condescension are shown to be little more than headline readers.

Okay, we understand – when you are at the foremost Never Trump outlet, you are very prone to leaping upon any story that makes the target of your scorn look bad. I mean, hell – that is basically the mission statement at the bad-ship U.S.S. Bulwark. 

Capt. Charlie Sykes really thought he had the former president dead to rights on the formula issue, as he dredged up an article from four years out that basically predicted Trump had kicked off this whole crisis of a baby formula shortage.

This could be a massive indictment of Trump policy if only Chaz had actually found the article he cited…and then did something novel, like read the contents. 

See, it was written in the Toronto Star, and it was talking about how opposition to a NAFTA policy would impact the baby formula market – in Canada. 

- "Favourable pricing of Canada's skim milk powder puts a new infant formula factory in Kingston in the cross-hairs of NAFTA foes in the U.S."

The other problem – Trump was actually a proponent of a new trade agreement that aided the U.S. dairy market, boosting the fortunes and output of domestic formula-making laboratories. According to Charlie's own unread article, this was supported by a rather prominently-known Democratic leader. 

- "Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer has been on the warpath about this since Class 7 came into effect, noting that Canadian exports of skim milk powder, rich in protein and ideal for baby formula, more than tripled in the first year of its existence, while dairy farmers in Cayuga County saw the export potential for their skim milk powders, to Canada and Mexico, shrink dramatically. 'Canada's Class 7 pricing program, a market-distorting supply management system, has caused severe pain to New York dairy producers since it came into force,' Schumer wrote in a letter to U.S. trade representative Robert Lighthizer."

DNC PR Firm – CNN

  • Those complaining about the economy, take it from John Harwood – you are well off.

The contest for reporter most slavishly sycophantic to Joe Biden is a battle these days, but one of the favorites has to be CNN's John Harwood. The man simply has not met a negative economic indicator he does not like, and he will tote the water for Joe, all while you and I are cutting coupons to get by. 

Um, Johnny? Those stimulus checks you refer to as you tell everyone to get over it were the leading cause of the very inflation that is seen as a serious problem by nearly 90-percent of people polled. But what takes Harwood's devotion to Biden to hilarious levels is that his own insistence that everything is A-OK is actually defied by someone rather noteworthy – his own hero, Joe Biden. 

Presentation Paradox – THE ADVOCATE

The media has managed to corrupt themselves when it comes to Florida. The insistence by the press to label that state's Parental Rights legislation the "Don't Say Gay Law" has seeped into their coverage and prevents rationality and pragmatism. Previously we covered NBC News claiming two teachers had quit over the law; one was not affected, and the other had quit before the bill had even been voted on.

Now, The Advocate gives us a story about a high school student prevented from running for class president because he is gay. Despite the implications of the headline, Jack Petocz is ineligible due to the student activist being previously suspended for fomenting a protest – something that invalidates him being a candidate by the school's rules. 

Anti-Social Media – CONDÉ NAST PUBLICATIONS

I guess when you have lawyers on retainer, you better put them to work. Condé Nast Magazines sent a threatening letter to a pub owner in Cornwall, located in a tiny hamlet. The issue – the magazine magnate was leaning on a copyright infringement because the pub is named The Star Inn at Vogue.

"We are concerned that the name which you are using is going to cause problems because as far as the general public is concerned a connection between your business and ours is likely to be inferred."

The company that had $2 billion in revenue last year was claiming it was concerned about a tiny bar in a hamlet with a few thousand residents. The owner promptly sent off a letter of scorn, informing the publisher that he was not, in fact, appropriating their couture publication but that his business has long been named after the village in which it is located.

Pounce of Prevention – ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION

  • Again, those noticing are actually worse than the infraction.

The entitled Stacey Abrams is again running for the governor's office in Georgia, and again she is providing her opponents with campaign material by simply opening her mouth. The latest is that Abrams recently gave a speech when she declared how she is tired of people talking about how great Georgia is because, as she put it, it is "the worst state in the country to live."

NBC was quick to point out that "Governor Kemp immediately seized on that…" And not to be left out, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution got in on the action, cracking open The GOP-Verb Thesaurus and settling on "GOP Jumps" for this feature.

There, now we can ignore the controversial thing Abrams said. 

News Avoidance Syndrome – WASHINGTON POST

In a piece concerned with the bevy of people in the White House orbit who have contracted Covid, The Washington Post stumbled across a key detail regarding Joe Biden – sort of. Writer Annie Linskey notes that as more people around the administration are testing positive, she has picked up on a pattern in the official responses.

- "In a Washington where proximity to power is prized, a notable number of high-ranking people — including second gentleman Douglas Emhoff and former press secretary Jen Psaki (twice infected) — don't seem to be within six feet of power very often."

Except, as Linskey herself details, it seems to be more than a safe 6-foot buffer zone. The president sounds to be positively disengaged from the operations of the White House, as he goes long scratches not seeing key members of his cabinet.

- "When Vice President Harris contracted the coronavirus, the White House assured the public that she could not have passed it to the president: She hadn't been with him in eight days."

- "When Secretary of State Antony Blinken came down with the illness, the State Department said it had been 'several days' since he and the president had seen each other."

- "Karine Jean-Pierre, who tested positive a few weeks ago…was pronounced not a 'close contact' with the president."

- "When the White House announced that Ashley Biden, the president's daughter, had tested positive for the coronavirus — a similar reassurance followed. 'I think [it's been] about a week' since President Biden and first lady Jill Biden had seen their daughter."

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