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OPINION

Politics and Unicorns

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

There was a zoo that once was very very popular. The animals were varied from polar bears to giraffes from monkeys to parrots. The zoo was a combination of traditional cages and free roaming plains. It had it all.

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Families came to the zoo for outings that seemed to bring them together as they each had their favorite lion, tiger or bear-Oh my! Periodically a new exhibit was announced and excitement in the community ran rampant.

Of course, to keep an entertainment facility fresh, clean and inviting required an admission fee. A fee that caught the eyes of the local politicians. “Why not tax the fee?” they said and pay for other services in the community. All the cronies agreed and thus it was done.

Unfortunately, the increased cost to the zoo required an increase in the price of admission just to take care of the animals. Many families in the community could not afford the increased price.

“Not fair,” said the politicians. “Everyone should be able to go to the zoo”.

Thus the zoo, under encouragement from the politicians, had many free admission days. The people were happy, the politicians were happy but the animals were not. Less admissions meant less money for food and less people for the care of the animals.

The zoo fell into shambles and all agreed something had to be done.

Magically a parrot was listening to all of this and as representative of the animals gave his opinion.

“Get the people excited,” the parrot said. “Tell them something that will bring more people to the zoo even if it’s not real! The admissions are less but more people will make up the difference.”

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Everyone smiled at the parrot’s wisdom “After all hadn’t you politicians been promising more jobs, less war, housing recovery and a car in every garage and the people accepted those lies?” said the parrot. All the politician’s smiled and nodded in agreement.

“What do you suggest?” they asked.

“Simple,” the parrot replied. “Each week promise the arrival of a Unicorn and when it doesn’t appear promise it will be here the next week.”

“Won’t the people catch on?” the politicians said.

“Of course not,” the parrot answered. “People's belief in an impossible fantasy will bring them back week after week. They will all gladly pay”.

“Of course,” the politicians said. “A Unicorn is the answer.”

The zoo was saved, at least for a little while longer.

Addendum:

The parrot threw his hat into the ring for the next mayoral election. Mainstream media said “He has a great political future.”

In the world of Unicorns or politics, anything is possible.

44th A Presidential Conspiracy

by William L. Tatro, IV

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