Kalyn Chapman James, the first African American to hold the Miss Alabama title, said on Sunday that she doesn't want to "feel this way," but finds it hard to be sad for the Dallas police officers and "can't help but feeling like the shooter was a martyr."
"I don't want to feel this way" James states in the video. "I don't feel sad for the officers who lost their lives ... I know that's not really my heart. I value human life. And I want to feel sad for them but I can't help but feeling like the shooter was a martyr," she says in the video.
In response to AL.com about her Facebook post, James issued this message late Sunday night:
"My heart and my mind were conflicted because these are difficult and very emotional times for so many people. I went to church to address my feelings and deal with them from a perspective of forgiveness and love. Especially forgiving myself for feeling that way. I regret that any people lost their lives this week and I am saddened by all of the shootings that occurred. But, this is not about me. When reading about the killings of those black men, I was mortified by some of the comments about them. Many People were not conflicted at all about those deaths. Some were okay with this. These are raw wounds that are fresh and, while I apologize if I offended anyone, I cannot help the way I feel as I continue to process these events and deal with the flood of emotions that come from witnessing such atrocities - both against citizens and officers of the law. The fact that my opinion was considered newsworthy makes me feel like speaking up was exactly what I should do, because I can voice what so many people are feeling and dealing with and they should know they are not alone. I reiterate that I do not condone violence or killing at all. I offer my deepest condolences to all the families who lost their loved ones this week, including the officers in Dallas."
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