Pleated Miniskirts, Cropped Tops, And Other Props For Judiciary Committee D's

Jillian Bandes | June 30, 2010 11:25 AM

Supreme Court hearings are supposed to be vacuous, full of mind-numbingly non-answers and fourth-grade lines of questioning. That said, sometime the vacuity can become so outstanding that one's blog practically begs you to give it a little attention. Such is the case with the lines of questioning from Democratic Sens.

Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.), Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), and Al Franken (D-Minn.).

I realize it's these Senators' jobs to chant Kagan's praises with the enthusiasm of middle school cheerleaders, but I also believe that its not too much to ask for them to bring the hemlines down on their miniskirts and cover up their midriffs just a little bit. Whitehouse used some of his time to talk about the founding of our country — a worthy topic, of course — but did it with the poetic inclination of a freshman literary studies major.

Whitehouse: I believe that [the Founders] wanted to create one last sanctuary where all that money, power, and influence would not hold sway. And thats why they established the jury. And we've established laws that make tampering with the jury a crime. Do you agree?

Kagan: ["Why yes!"]

Klobuchar decided that her time would best be spent by recalling the long night she just had with her teenage daughter and her teenage friends, who were all up until 3am watching the movie series "Twilight." Kagan declined to state whether she was up until 3am watching Twilight as well.

Al Franken was apparently attempting to get some kind of non-answer out of Kagan regarding the ability of judges to remain neutral when it comes to politically-charged cases. In this instance, he was using environmental rulings to explain how judges without expertise in that area shouldn't be legislating from the bench.

Franken: General Kagan, can you tell me how many Supreme Court justice have a degree in the environmental sciences?

Kagan: Gee, Senator Franken, I don't know.

Franken: Can you tell me how many have a degree in public health?

Kagan (clearly nonplussed): I'd guess none.

Franken: That's what I would guess to. Now of course, we're guessing as to areas where they dont have expertise or personal knowlege.

We're also guessing, Senator Franken, that you don't have expertise or personal knowledge about an even marginally effective way to conduct SCOTUS hearings. Go back to Hollywood!