Begin transmission…not sure how much longer I can keep this thing on…but it’s important you know what happened here…I kept a running diary of our final few days…it all started with the Sequester.
Day one of Sequester…hunkering down hoping for the best but expecting the worst...already worried about running low on ammo (arrows, guns are bad remember) and perishables...had to run to the airport to raid vendo-land for rations…also ran into some slick spots from melting snow my local guvment agent wasn't there to clear, but disaster averted miraculously on my own...local TSA agent at airport was still there to have me turn and cough, and he let me know my prostate checked out, too...now patiently waiting for the Emergency Broadcast System to warn me of impending doom, assuming of course the guvment doesn't have to turn that off, too...I hope not…Without guvment I have no internal survival instinct, let alone a sense of direction, so I’m not sure what I will do....gotta go now...don't want to waste generator power and there's a Morgan Fairchild marathon on Lifetime...stay tuned.
Sequester day two...thankfully power is still on...water tastes funny, but that could be the water softener is broken. However, without guvment to tell me I don't know what to do. Thankfully, the only side effects so far are a chalky aftertaste...a lot of wild rumors right now about what's happening top side. Not sure what to believe...my friend Rick promises to protect us, and Darrell and Merle (if you can put up with his Neanderthal attitude) are both good with a crossbow...our lookout says he saw those stupid Christians still going to church this morning regardless. Where was their God when they were shutting down 2.89% of the guvment? Yet another tragedy where their God is silent...We're trying to provide shelter to as many laid off bureaucrats as possible, but we can't save them all...afraid to turn on state approved media for fear of seeing just how brutal it is out there...whatever state approved higher power you pray to, please ask it to end this soon. We're chanting now...stay tuned.