Horton Hears the Who

Author's Note: the following column contains offensive speech. But please keep reading. Offensive speech can be utterly hysterical.

Two years ago, I wrote an article about UNCW gay activist Brice Horton. This was after he tried to ban Chick fil-A from campus (all in the name of tolerance and diversity). I satirically responded by writing that he should be expelled from campus for his own intolerance. Now, just two years later, he's a proud UNCW graduate. I know this because he recently wrote me two emails. The content of the first email was pretty straightforward:

From: Horton, Brice Melton

Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2014 5:49 PM

To: Adams, Mike

I hope you rot in Hell you piece of $h*t.

Shortly after he wrote that well-articulated argument, he forwarded it to my university account. I guess you could say his first email was straightforward and his second email was gay-forward. Regardless, gay rights activist Brice Horton wasn't done with me yet. He sent me this little gem only two hours after he sent the first one:

From: Horton, Brice Melton

Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2014 7:54 PM

To: Adams, Mike

(For the record, no one else emailed me so I guess Brice Horton doesn't have as many friends as he suspects. That is a small wonder, given his personal charm and charisma).

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Of course, I am predicting that most people who read Brice Horton's emails will refrain from making negative attributions about his personal character. Instead, they are likely to make negative attributions about his generation. But that's fair since Brice is the kind of guy who judges people using group characteristics, rather than individual traits. That's why he boasts of having gay friends, not happy ones.

Aside from his "I have gay friends" line, which is just an age-old liberal ploy of using token friendships for political purposes (e.g., I have black friends) Brice Horton's speech sounds a lot like that of past generations of misguided liberal activists. Take a few minutes to reflect back on the old Who classic "My Generation." The similarities between then and now are pretty striking:

People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)

Just because we get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)

Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)

I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)

When the Who released this song in 1965, they were making two distinct but inter-related statements. First, they were tying individual identity into sexual promiscuity. Second, they were condemning those who would dare to condemn their loose lifestyle. They even went so far as to say they would rather die than live to be older and more judgmental. Is this really so different from the youth of today?

Of course, the old liberal rebels of that generation didn't die. They got their college degrees in the 60s. They went to graduate school in the 70s. They became professors in the 80s. And, finally, they became college administrators in the 90s.

It was around that time (the early 90s) that the old 60s protestors decided that they weren't so crazy about protest anymore. So they passed campus speech codes to ensure that no one would challenge their perpetually adolescent view of the world. (People are good. Power is bad. And so is any modicum of moral judgment - except that which is necessary to quash debate).

But they did something more than that. In addition to condemning the condemners and silencing the dissent they decided to credential their allies. That's when we began to see degrees in "disciplines" such as Gay and Lesbian Studies. For those who don't know, that is a special degree program that teaches people how to deprive others of their religious liberty and to justify it on the basis of the hate they project upon them. A hate group is simply anyone who is hated by the homosexual lobby. That includes Hobby Lobby.

But you don't have to get a degree in Queer Studies to get special recognition at the university. At Brice Horton's university, UNCW, you can get a special lavender graduation cord just for approving of homosexuality. If you actually practice it, you get a purple graduation cord. Oh, and if you graduate with honors, you get a gold cord.

What a snapshot of social progress! At Brice's graduation they gave out one cord dedicated to academic achievement, one cord dedicated to how people achieve their orgasms, and one cord dedicated to people like Brice Horton who are just really happy to see people have sex in non-traditional ways. But, to be clear, Brice Horton isn't gay himself. He just has gay friends. He probably has black friends, too.

No wonder kids like Brice Horton are utterly unable to form arguments and to interact in a civil manner with people who hold different views. They are not rewarded for engaging in reasoned debate. They are rewarded for having strong opinions about how people have sex.

Of course, a major difference between the 60s and today is that these kids' future employers have access to the Internet. This means that when Brice Horton applies for a job, his prospective boss can run a Google search. When he types in Brice Horton, this column will likely be the first thing that pops up.

I think it's good that employers can use the Internet to decide whether they want to hire mentally unstable activists who want to throw Chick fil-A off campus and condemn their political opponents to rot in hell for eternity. Religious fundamentalists can be disruptive to the workplace - even when they aren't shouting out to Allah and flying airplanes into crowded buildings.