Kurt  Schlichter

The GOP Establishment seems confused about where we conservatives – you know, the majority of the party – stand on immigration reform. Maybe I can help it out.

No amnesty.

No bogus pseudo-legal status that is effectively amnesty.

No “enforcement first” plan that ends up with no enforcement and plenty of amnesty.

N-o A-m-n-e-s-t-y.

What part of that is in any way unclear? Apparently, the part about no amnesty.

In what universe is it a good idea to push for amnesty and increased immigration by zillions of people who will never, ever, ever vote Republican? The House GOP must have just held its retreat in Colorado because the only explanation for their thinking that selling out the base is a solid strategy is that they’ve been puffing on some killer weed.

Sure, this is all a great idea for the puppet masters of the Republican Establishment in Congress. Those squishy sellouts are thinking less about conservatism than about the day that they can ditch Capitol Hill and take the reins as executive director of the American Undergarment Trade Association for a cool $900K a year as payback for a couple of decades of carrying water for Big Undie.

After all, what giant corporatist conglomerate wouldn’t want a steady flow of desperate new workers to do their menial labor at low, low wages without making all those outrageous demands that actual Americans make? Capitalism is great, but these corporate cronies are as much about the free market as Justin Bieber is about sobriety and good music.

Hell, the existence of Canadian refugee Justin Bieber should end the entire immigration debate before it even starts. Step one in any reform plan should be shipping him and his posse back to Winnipeg.

While walling off the Great White North might be a bit extreme – might be – putting up a real fence on the border with Mexico makes a lot of sense. Of course, it only makes sense if you actually want to stop illegal immigration. The Establishment clearly doesn’t, and you can tell that it doesn’t by its steadfast refusal to take any action consistent with actually stopping illegal immigration.

Let me spell out where conservatives stand on border security.

No “virtual fences.”

No focus on “enhanced interior enforcement” or “improved visa controls.”

No more promises, dodges or misdirections.

Build a freaking fence, don’t just promise to build one like last time.

A fence. Build it now.

Kurt Schlichter

Kurt Schlichter (Twitter: @KurtSchlichter) was personally recruited to write conservative commentary by Andrew Breitbart. He is a successful Los Angeles trial lawyer, a veteran with a masters in Strategic Studies from the United States Army War College, and a former stand-up comic.