Kevin Glass
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Do you call yourself a conservative but consider yourself to be centrist-curious? Looking for a little help on how your heresies from true conservatism fit in with the crop of mediocre GOP candidates? Well, fear no longer! The RINO guide is guaranteed to match your betrayal of conservatism with the candidate of your choice!

Are you... more concerned with being on the winning team than believing in something? It's tough, you know, having principles. You understand that. The American public so very seldom know what they really want - and that's especially variable based on geography. Considering that you think that it's important for a Republican to be in office, no matter what that Republican actually believes in, this can be harrowing.

Thankfully there's a candidate for you! And even better news, he's a frontrunner! You should really consider voting for Mitt Romney, who, like another Massachusetts politician, can often be found being for something before he was against it. With your penchant for being on the winning team, no matter what that team's philosophy is, you're sure to be happy joining the frontrunning bandwagon.

Are you... a revolutionary red-meat conservative who doesn't mind taking your fair share of political gamesmanship? It's easy to rail against pork-barrel projects, after all, but it's not incumbent upon you to actually set an example. If everyone else gets their piece of meat, you should be able to get yours too!

You're the kind of person who laments government spending on Congressional vanity projects but wishes they'd fix that pothole that's kind of inconvenient on the street outside. And you'll champion that letter-writing campaign to your local Congressperson when the feds step in and repair your pothole to the cost to the taxpayer of $1.4 million. You've got someone: Michele Bachmann! Jump aboard her train and watch the federal dollars roll out for whatever tiny infrastructure project in your neighborhood you've been whining about. After all, she's notable for her frequent requests to Obama's Department of Transportation to put those pork projects to work back in her home district!

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Kevin Glass

Kevin Glass is the Managing Editor of Townhall.com. Follow him on Twitter at @kevinwglass.