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OPINION

Jerry Brown To Women: A Nod Means Undress Me

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Jerry Brown To Women: A Nod Means Undress Me

California Governor Jerry Brown cares about college women. Which is why he is patronizing them.

It is vital that college women—who now face an epidemic of sexual assault on American universities—have access to defensive tools. Millennial women like Dartmouth College student Taylor Woolrich are specifically asking for concealed firearms to deter violent stalkers. But evidently it is more important for male politicians to boost their fragile egos by talking down to women than to humble themselves by listening to women.

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Which is why Brown has ignored the pleas of real world women and signed a bill called “Yes Means Yes.” According to the law, women must be conscious (not drunk, asleep or high) and give consent verbally (a “yes”) or nonverbally (a nod or a step closer) in order for sex to be consensual.

Until Brown enlightened us, Millennial women who went on dates had no idea what to do when things became intimate. Women like yours truly, Woolrich and rape victim Amanda Collins were apparently too obtuse to grasp a concept as complex as “okay.” We could ace advanced calculus and physics. We could vote and drive. But we were unable to figure out—without Brown’s help—what “yes” meant in the context of sex.

Before last week, millions of American college women were unaware that if they were to nod it could mean “Yes, come hither” but if they were to shake their head, it could mean “No way, back off creeper.” This is because women are naturally imbecilic and we need erudite men like Jerry Brown to translate simple phrases and expressions for us.

Fact: the vast majority of rapes and sexual assaults that occur on college campuses are perpetrated by hardened criminals, specifically serial rapists. The White House Council on Women and Girls recently cited a report showing that only 7 percent of all male college students admitted to attempted rape. However, the majority (63 percent) of those who conceded to attempted rape admitted to an average of six rapes. Law-abiding young women have a natural right to defend their bodies—their first piece of private property—from toughened thugs.

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Case in point: 58-year-old Thomas Duvall has confessed to sexually assaulting at least 60 women and is now petitioning for provisional discharge in the state of Minnesota. In each of three prior instances when Duvall was released from prison, he promptly returned to molesting teenage girls. In one instance, Duvall beat a 17-year-old with a hammer and raped her over and over while she lay bound in electrical wire.

Men like Duvall are addicted to preying on defenseless women. Brown’s idyllic requirement that women say “yes” to sex will not stop men who are inured to rape. Individuals like Duvall have freely chosen to become beasts; they neither heed laws nor fear imprisonment.

In a date-rape situation, how would a woman prove that she said “no”? In a reverse scenario, how would an innocent young man prove that she actually said “yes” and that their intimacy was in fact consensual? (Other than by installing cameras everywhere, which is impractical and unethical.) “Yes Means Yes” is not enforceable. Thus, it renders women more vulnerable to violent aggressors and men more vulnerable to wrongful accusations.

My heart breaks to think about how many rapes could be prevented each year if men like Jerry Brown and Barack Obama would stop throwing photo ops and start empowering women to carry concealed firearms on campuses. President Obama recently gathered the press at the White House to snap photos as he announced his collaboration with Hollywood celebrities on a public service campaign called “It’s On Us.”

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“It’s On Us” amounts to a call for Americans to stop rape by speaking out against rape. But when a rapist approaches a young woman from behind, covers her mouth with his hand and places a gun to her temple, it will be rather difficult for her to scream “No!”

“Yes Means Yes” and “It’s On Us” presume that college women are too dense to understand what consent means and how to convey it—as well as too irresponsible to handle the most modern tool of self-defense, namely a firearm. These initiatives also presume that all college men are guilty of sexual assault before proven innocent. Thus, these initiatives are sexist, ageist and, most disturbingly, useless.

“Yes Means Yes” amounts to an overly simplistic manual for coping with rape rather than deterring it. We’ve learned nothing that we did not already know. “It’s On Us” amounts to celebrities aggrandizing themselves, without scaring hardened criminals.

Brown and Obama ought to give up their armed bodyguards until they allow college women to effectively deter rape by carrying concealed firearms on college campuses. Until then, young women will have to be very careful not to accidently bob their heads toward the wrong guy while they are dancing at college parties. Because now, thanks to Brown, a nod means “undress me.”

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