The summer Olympics are upon us, and already they are spoiling things for those of us who like our summers restful and given over to reasonable pageantry, particularly pageantry in London. For those of you who have not been made aware of it, the Olympics are in London this summer, which is about as appropriate as holding the world gun fight championships in Rome just across the palazzo from the Vatican, if there are world gunfight championships. The gunfight championships should be held in an appropriate setting like Kabul or some Middle Eastern metropolis along with the world car bombing championships. London should be off limits for tasteless vulgarity.
In summer, London is one of the loveliest cities on earth, and certainly among the most sophisticated. But how will we enjoy Shakespeare in the park or great concerts, or the British "Spectator's" annual summer party, when thousands of athletes are being offloaded from airplanes and preparing for their multitudinous over-hyped contests? There will be media and of course idiotic sports writers. There will be purveyors of sports equipment and even more egregious commercial interests. The Giant Corporations will be on hand to sell automobiles, perhaps even agricultural equipment and maybe gigantic land movers. Can you see Mark Phelps wearing a high tech swimsuit driving up in a John Deere e-series Wheeled Harvester and saying, "I go everywhere in my John Deere"? There will be ads for junk foods, nutritional foods, beer, and countless other products -- all proud sponsors of the Olympics and the "Olympic Spirit."
Well, count me out! I shall announce it here and now. I have slapped a boycott on this year's summer Olympics. I shall not even attend the "Spectator's" summer party, and I especially relish it. There are journalists, serious writers like the great Paul Johnson, and many pretty girls, some wearing hats. They serve Pol Roger chilled to perfection. All you can drink! Alas, I shall stay at home.