WASHINGTON -- I first heard it two, perhaps two and a half years ago. A sage sitting in his New York City office pronounced it. Said the sage to me: "This is going to be the dirtiest presidential campaign in history." I would pass on my prescient friend's name, but he is a gentleman of high profile. It would be best if he were to continue his life unmolested by the Living Saint in the White House, whom a benighted majority of Americanos deposited there in 2009.
Now, roughly six months from Election Day, I fear my friend was right. Financial donors to Mitt Romney have suffered unflattering attention from the press, from boycotters to labor thugs to stink bomb throwers. It is only a matter of time before the government begins harassing them with its vast array of federal agencies. Mitt Romney himself has suffered from the media and from assorted psychopaths. Yet, in time, what goes around comes around, as the phrase has it. President Barack Obama will get similar treatment, though not from the government. He controls the government, and thus far only a sole Marine has objected to him. He is Sgt. Gary Stein, and needless to say, he got the old heave ho.
I say I fear my friend was right in his gloomy prediction of a very dirty campaign, but here I am telling a little white lie. Truth be known, I relish the contumely, the dirty tricks, the ginned-up controversy of it all. I smack my lips and clap my hands. Bring it on! Let us see the full spectacle of idealists and progressives revealing their true selves, their lust for power, their libido for slander. Let us see their naked souls. Bring on the dirty stuff! Frankly, I am never happier than when I see a refined Liberal acting illiberally, even criminally.
Already we have seen the venerable "Washington Post" rummaging through Romney's past. Almost fifty years ago, he was a bully and anti-gay, committing other horrors I dare not repeat in this, a civilized forum of opinion. Well, maybe Romney was innocent. Maybe it was Adolf Hitler's high school days that the illustrious "Post" researched or Benito Mussolini's or Stalin's. It does not much matter. The "Post" gets things wrong. Romney's alleged victim is dead. His family claims the "Post" mischaracterized the unfortunate man who is now deceased. And there are journalistic problems with the "Post's" reports on all the other alleged witnesses. But who cares? It was a good story. Next will come accounts of even greater misbehavior by the otherwise suave and decorous Republican candidate. He picks his nose in public. He has halitosis. He walked out on a bill in 1963 and never tried to pay it back.