Dustin Siggins

I'm a virgin. Sexually abstinent. I've never “hooked up,” “been laid,” or “gotten any.”

And I'm cool with that. And I get a kick out of watching people's eyes grow as big as dinner plates when they hear my sex life is non-existent.

I was at the gym a few years ago, stretching after lifting weights. Two female friends were nearby, talking in graphic terms about their sex lives as they lifted. After 15 or 20 minutes of increasing awkwardness on my part, I finally asked them to stop. One of the women was surprised, and said, “Everyone likes to talk about sex!”

When I told her I had never experienced what she was talking about, she dropped her weights and left the area, saying, “This is awkward.”

Another time, an Army buddy and I were having a discussion about sexual morality. Eventually, realization dawned, and he proceeded to drop the volume of his voice from a conversational level to a whisper. “Are you a virgin?!”

“Yes,” I whispered back. “But you don't have to whisper.”

He ended up laughing at himself. “I did, didn't I?”

It's amazing what happens when I tell people I'm sexually abstinent. Some people play it cool. One day, when I was dressed in a suit purchasing some alcohol at a convenience store, a guy told me to “bring a girl home for him.” I told him that “I would, but the Catholic guilt is strong in this one.” He gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “I got you, man.”

Clearly, Star Wars overcomes differences of sexual practice.

More often than not I get a look of absolute shock, often followed up by stuttering. Such as the customer service employee at a sporting goods store in New York City, who, a few minutes after meeting me and my buddy Jeremy, made a crude sexual joke. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about -- not having experienced what he was referencing -- and as Jeremy burst into laughter the guy looked to him for clarification. The poor guy proceeded to stutter his way through saying, “Oh, um, well, good for you...”

Just a couple of months ago, I was on-air at CPAC, and mentioned that I will be sexually abstinent until I am married. Two women who happened to be in the general vicinity overheard this, and their amazed expressions were priceless.


Dustin Siggins

Dustin Siggins is the D.C. Correspondent for LifeSiteNews.com and a co-author of the forthcoming book “Bankrupt Legacy: The Future of the Debt-Paying Generation." He is a freelance contributor to National Review Online and Aleteia.org, and has been published by Roll Call, USA TODAY, Hot Air, and other publications. The opinions expressed are his own.