A Palestinian Unwrapped a US Aid Package. It Didn't Go Well.
Netanyahu to Biden: I'm Taking Rafah, Destroying Hamas, And You Can’t Do Anything...
Nation’s Largest Corporate Mega-Stores Lobbying for Billions, Small Businesses & Consumers...
A Truth and Reality ‘Bloodbath’
CAIR Says Biden Will Lose, 'Allah Willing'
Israel As 'A Pariah' Among the Nations
Trump Romps Among Battleground Catholics
Biden's Speech Was Not the Win the Political Class Thought It Was
The Smell of Mendacity
'Bloodbath' and Pure Evil
Pathway to Victory
The Cautionary Legal Tale of Roundup
FDNY Won't Investigate Those Who Booed Letitia James, But Don't Expect Love for...
Joe Biden Is Back to Pretending His Granddaughter Doesn't Exist
Bob Good, Chip Roy Lead Letter Insisting Spending Bills Secure the Border
OPINION

If I Was A Black Man I Wouldn’t Fear White Devils -- I’d Fear Blacks

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

If I was a black dude I wouldn’t be sweating getting offed by some pasty skinned white devil who listens to Cold Play and shops The Gap; or some buzz cut, “creepy-ass cracker” cop wearing Aviators.

Advertisement

Why wouldn’t I sweat such Caucasians?

Well … as a 52yr. old “black man” it’s primarily because of these six things:

-- I’m not selling narcotics.

-- I’m not carrying a switchblade.

-- I’m not shaking down store clerks after they catch me stealing fists full of Swisher Sweets.

-- I’m not beating the stuffing out of a cop after I dared him to run over me as I defiantly slow-trolled down the middle of the street.

-- I’m not looting stores.

-- I’m really not breaking any law (aside from an occasional speed limit) or hanging out with anyone doing shady stuff.

Ergo, as a hypothetical brother, I wouldn’t fear a Caucasian at anytime, anywhere, for anything. I’m cool … you see?

However, my teens were a wee bit different story chocked full of phobias. Righteous phobias, mind you.

As the theoretical black teen and twenty-something, I definitely would fear The Cracker because, back in my day, I was hell on two skinny legs.

Yep, as a “black teen” I would dread the white man, or any man for that matter, especially those sporting a badge -- and here’s why: I did stupid, lawless, evil and wicked stuff with great regularity, that’s why.

Indeed, my fears would’ve been justified because I dealt drugs, burglarized homes and businesses, vandalized property, treated people like dirt and got into enough trouble for twenty punks.

Advertisement

It took a collision course with Johnny Law and Jesus Christ to wake my dumb-butt up.

What I’ve learned after over half-a-century of schlepping this third rock from the sun is this: If I don’t do whacked stuff then, generally speaking, I don’t have to fear people or police … duh.

That said, continuing with the “if i was a black guy I wouldn’t fear the white man” motif, I must say, given the empirical data of late, that if, as a black man, I had to fear anyone for anything at anytime it would be a black person – because the black on black crime is way more a threat to a black person than any thing a white dude is currently doling out. Read this if you think I’m full of crap.

Finally, I will let Chris Rock explain what he, as a law-abiding black man, truly fears. Remember, he said it. I didn’t.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Townhall Videos