Doug Giles

Thank God Cliven Bundy gave the Left something to smack him over the head with, because that “Negro” comment took the spotlight off the brute force of big government and placed it on the ramblings of an inarticulate old man.

Man, I bet Harry Reid was so relieved that he thoroughly soaked his size-small adult diaper.

Yep, the stealing of old Cliven’s cattle; the paramilitary machinery levied against cowboys on horses; the sniper’s bouncing multiple .223 rounds off Bundy’s bull’s noggins via helicopters; the dumping of his slaughtered cattle into mass graves and the separation of his mama cows from their nursing calves by government goons was about the worse PR the BLM could ever dread to receive. Heck, even PETA was bitching about the Bureau of Land “Management.”

But in Obamaland, all that is second fiddle to an old, white cowboy saying “Negro, slave and pickin’ cotton” in the same sentence.

Heck, I’m so terrified of being labeled a racist that I don’t drink Negra Modello any longer and I refuse to order frijoles negros when I go out to eat in Little Havana. In addition, I refuse to read aloud MLK’s I Have A Dream speech because it uses the word “Negro” about a dozen times.

Somehow, I knew something like this would happen to Bundy. Not so much that he would make obtuse remarks, but I knew something was going to get him because, as right as he may have been, he was not good on TV. And not being good on TV is all the Left needs to take its foes down to Chinatown. No offense to the Chinese, of course.

In order to assist future foes of big government when their tanks roll into their back forty and they start shooting your sheep and tazing pregnant women in an overt attempt to bully you off your land, herewith are a few media tips once the reluctant media rolls up to film this egregious government overreach.

1. Say no to interviews with the NYT if your favorite song is “Home On The Range”.

2. Keep the conversation on cattle rustlin’.

3. Get spokesperson. Preferably, a black lesbian.

4. If you’re not getting yet what I’m getting at here with this list, it is: the media is not your friend.

5. Don’t say “Negro”.

6. Don’t say “Negro”.

7. Have friends that’ll punch you upside the head as soon as stupid words start coming out of your mouth.

8. And finally, please realize with the media nowadays it isn’t, “three strikes and you’re out”. It’s “one and you’re done.”

Just ask Todd Akin.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.