Doug Giles

The movie Noah has ironically spawned a flood of hullabaloo, eh? Personally, heretofore, I haven’t seen the flick, but I plan on watching it this Sunday.

Yes, I said it. I’m going to check it out even though I’ve been warned by the brethren not to because it isn’t "biblical". I guess I’ll have to wear a disguise so my more persnickety readers won’t recognize me. I think I’ll go as Carrot Top. That’ll toss them off my scent trail.

Now, when the anti-biblical criticisms began to fly against this pic in its ramp-up for release, I was like, “You … you … you mean a film about a biblical narrative that Hollywood has churned out sports an inaccurate exegesis?” Well, slap my mama. Here’s my shocked face.

I guess the next thing you’re going to tell me is that the X-Men never really happened either. Ruin my life now, why don’t you?

Look, folks, I expect nada that Tinseltown turns out to be true to the Verbum Dei. I was surprised they even kept Noah’s given name and didn’t rechristen him Tanya the Cross-dresser.

All cheekiness aside, I do appreciate the many cultural watchdogs looking out for us. That said, what are we, the church, doing about it? Are we content just to sit back and blather about how much the movie Noah is all wet?

If Christians are going to rail against Hollywood, I suggest getting into the fray and besting ‘em at their own game; or don’t bitch when they put out gay cowboy movies or when they morph Moses into some ganja smoking Rastafarian or something.

Is the church’s answer to LA’s lunacy the Left Behind movies? Or the ubiquitous and underfunded Jesus flicks that always have him looking like an angst-addled Jared Leto? Nothing like trying to beat something with nothing, Church.

Which leads me to dig the knife further and ask the church the tough question of why haven’t we championed serious involvement in the arts by our congregants, versus just hissing from the lattices of our stained glass windows? I have actually heard pastors condemn those who wanted to pursue a career in Hollywood and yet, I can’t think of a more needy place for serious and excellent Christian involvement than the arts.

At this moment in American history, I’m hard pressed to find a focal point more in need of our missionary budget than the entertainment industry because, as the culture goes, so goes the nation; and after seeing pics from Miley’s Bangerz concert in Atlanta, I think we’re doomed.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.