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OPINION

Tiger Mother, Meet Lion Dad!

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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I have not yet read what Tiger Mother Amy Chua penned in her book regarding why Chinese mothers blow western moms away in raising sharp, solid kids, but having just gotten back from the mall I’m already siding with Chua. Western kids are, by and large, becoming frickin’ animals (at least that’s how they are in Miami), and it’s clearly because their parents are animals. Whether or not parents want to own it, as Larry Winget wrote, your kids are your fault. Period. Monkey see, monkey do. Deal with it.

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I hear that the Tiger Mother drilled her kids with hours of music lessons, wouldn’t let them talk smack to her or her husband, pushed ‘em to academic excellence and wouldn’t allow them to hang out with yard apes. And that’s bad? It sounds good to me. It sounds better than what the Jersey Shore’s begetters allowed for their miscreant kids.

As much as the aforementioned sounds de rigueur for greatness, though, I believe it’s incomplete if you truly care for your kid’s life. And that’s why in my new book, Raising Righteous & Rowdy Girls, I show how I not only helped guide my girls to rise to the top of the food chain in regard to academics and excellence but also developed in them a heightened level of awareness in dung detection and dude dismemberment.

Allow me to explain. It’s great for your daughter to be able to quote Dostoevsky, play classical piano, and wail on a violin. I’ll take that over Snookie’s “talents” of doing bong hits upside down, cutting her toenails with her teeth and drinking tequila shots from JWoww’s cleavage any old day. Having said that, how many of you have met the book smart magna cum laude lady who, in regard to street smarts, is a magna dumb loopy chick with a seriously weak BS Detector who falls easy prey to bad people and ideas?

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In addition, given that this is a wickedly violent world, I wonder if Tiger Mother’s kids can read a threatening situation and, if need be, open up a can of whup ass when confronted by a would-be rapist or murderer? What about your daughter? Could she handle herself if some thug attacked her? I know mine can. In our house we emphasized both straight A’s and kicking A’s. This is the world we live in. Welcome to the 21st century, parents. May I take your coat?

Just this past week on my radio show over at ClashRadio.com, my co-host Steve Pauwels and I dealt with four heartrending situations out of hundreds which occurred recently to kids, in particular girls, that my book is constructed to cure, including the disappearance of Marizela Perez, Michelle Malkin’s cousin, the disappearance/kidnapping of 13-year-old Ashley Kingsbury, the attempted suicide of Charlie Sheen’s porn star “girlfriend” Kacey Jordan, and the sudden spring break death of Molly Ammon, who apparently died from binge drinking.

Regarding the disappearance of Marizela Perez, I don’t know if her disappearance was crime-related, if she knew martial arts, carried a taser, or was old enough to carry a concealed weapon (or allowed to), but you, dad, should do due diligence with your daughter and enroll her ASAP into Jiu-Jitsu because brutish bastards aren’t going to disappear any time soon, and they need to be rendered inoperative should they ever jack with your girl. Please join me in praying for Marizela, and please donate to findmarizela.com and help the family defray the costs in looking for her.

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In regard to Ashley Kingsbury, a 13-year-old girl who hooked up with a 19-year-old dipstick online, let me help you here with a little wisdom from above, parents: If I pay my kids’ bills then I have access to their email, Facebook and text messages. Duh. End of story.

One of the things I also address in my book is teaching your kids how to party if they’re going to party. As a Christian, I’ve taken heat from the brethren who think it’s inappropriate to give the skinny to parents and kids on how to enjoy the fruit of the vine, to which I say … whatever. More than likely, evangelicals, once your kids get out of eyeshot and earshot (usually in college), they’re going to drink. Now, would you like your daughter to have learned moderation and safety from you or binge drinking and seven-gram rock sniffing from some Charlie Sheen wannabe in her dorm?

Pardon my redundancy, parents, but this is a severely mucked-up, violent culture filled not only with physically threatening punks but also bad ideas constructed to derail our nation. Not on my watch, padre.

My book, Raising Righteous & Rowdy Girls, is here to help fathers with daughters. In this book, I table scores of road-tested, historically proven, can’t-miss principles for raising girls with a fighting spirit, discernment, a winning attitude, and a holy vision to overcome this feces-filled culture. You will learn in this quick read how to teach your daughters to fight, shoot guns, sense BS, be classy, despise anti-intellectualism, be visionaries, party without going Snookie, value hunting and the outdoors, esteem traditional convictions, and avoid the date from hell. It could save her life.

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Click here for a video link promo to Raising Righteous & Rowdy Girls.

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