Doug Giles

I have not yet read what Tiger Mother Amy Chua penned in her book regarding why Chinese mothers blow western moms away in raising sharp, solid kids, but having just gotten back from the mall I’m already siding with Chua. Western kids are, by and large, becoming frickin’ animals (at least that’s how they are in Miami), and it’s clearly because their parents are animals. Whether or not parents want to own it, as Larry Winget wrote, your kids are your fault. Period. Monkey see, monkey do. Deal with it.

I hear that the Tiger Mother drilled her kids with hours of music lessons, wouldn’t let them talk smack to her or her husband, pushed ‘em to academic excellence and wouldn’t allow them to hang out with yard apes. And that’s bad? It sounds good to me. It sounds better than what the Jersey Shore’s begetters allowed for their miscreant kids.

As much as the aforementioned sounds de rigueur for greatness, though, I believe it’s incomplete if you truly care for your kid’s life. And that’s why in my new book, Raising Righteous & Rowdy Girls, I show how I not only helped guide my girls to rise to the top of the food chain in regard to academics and excellence but also developed in them a heightened level of awareness in dung detection and dude dismemberment.

Allow me to explain. It’s great for your daughter to be able to quote Dostoevsky, play classical piano, and wail on a violin. I’ll take that over Snookie’s “talents” of doing bong hits upside down, cutting her toenails with her teeth and drinking tequila shots from JWoww’s cleavage any old day. Having said that, how many of you have met the book smart magna cum laude lady who, in regard to street smarts, is a magna dumb loopy chick with a seriously weak BS Detector who falls easy prey to bad people and ideas?

In addition, given that this is a wickedly violent world, I wonder if Tiger Mother’s kids can read a threatening situation and, if need be, open up a can of whup ass when confronted by a would-be rapist or murderer? What about your daughter? Could she handle herself if some thug attacked her? I know mine can. In our house we emphasized both straight A’s and kicking A’s. This is the world we live in. Welcome to the 21st century, parents. May I take your coat?

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.