Doug Giles

I was being interviewed on talk radio a couple of weeks ago when the “talent” turned the discussion to my faith and my thoughts on the state of the Church in America. I’m sitting there thinking, “You invited me on your show to talk about school violence and student stupidity, and now we’re talking about Jesus? Okay, whatever. God is one of my favorite topics, and as long as I get to plug my latest book, A Time to Clash, 757 times in the next 15 minutes, I’m good.”

So, I informed my host that my faith was stonkin’ and in my humble—yet acerbic—prophetic opinion I thought a good chunk of the American church was melting like a little Twinkie under the hot sun of assertive secularism.

In particular the church was wilting like a wuss in regard to its biblical moral maxims and its stance on essential Christian doctrines and was thus well on its way to living La Vida Apostacia. Yep, if our country goes down the crapper, a lot of the blame falls on the American church for capitulating to this crap-addled culture, as far as I’m concerned.

Next question, hermano.

Jiminy Glick went on to ask me what I thought the church could practically do to heal itself and help our nation and what my thoughts were regarding the emergent church.

I told mi amigo that I didn’t know much about the “emergent church.” I’m sure there are many good guys in it, and I’m sure it has caused some damage to el Diablo; however, it looks and sounds a tad narcissistic to me. In addition, from what I’ve observed both in life and via history is that once a church movement gets a “name” it usually means it’s toast and ends up being propped up by hype instead of heaven.

I went on to edumicate my inquirer that I prefer a Detergent Church to an emergent church. Yes sir, I think what we need is a “movement” that would purge the skid mark that sin has left on man’s soul and our society rather than a group of nerdy Christians trying to be Ryan Seacrest.

Yep, a Detergent Church is the type of church that flicks my switch. As far as I’m concerned, a “church” that does not alter culture in a weighty way isn’t worth its salt—no matter how “successful” it may be momentarily. And seeing that our culture is getting more bizarre by the flippin’ day I’d say that whatever the church is doing to be au courant just ain’t cutting it.

Here’s my laundry list (to become a book) regarding how the “called out ones” can be the holy hellfire Detergent Church they’re ‘spose to be. You might want to put on a cup . . .

1. Get men who dig being rowdy back in the pulpit.

2. Could we have some sound doctrine, por favor?

3. Preach scary sermons (at least every fourth one).

4. Get rid of 99.9% of “Christian” TV and sappy Christian music.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.