Burt Prelutsky

Members of the Mafia have to take a vow of silence, and if they break it, they face the very real possibility of winding up dead. Liberals have their own version of the vow. However, instead of having to keep quiet about murder, drug deals and extortion, they must promise not to ridicule their own kind.

The price of breaking the code isn’t death, it’s something far more serious; namely, exile from their social circle. Dare to make fun of Joe Biden’s statement that in 1929, President Roosevelt went on TV to reassure his fellow Americans about the Depression, and don’t expect to be invited to write for the Huffington Post. Dare to laugh at Nancy Pelosi’s contention that 500 million Americans are losing their jobs every month, and you can forget about being invited to brunch at Streisand’s or to pitch a movie idea to Tom Hanks or Steven Spielberg. Believe me, for some people, that’s a far worse fate than swimming with the fishes.

When you remember what a big deal the press and the late night jokesters made out of Dan Quayle’s merely misspelling “potato,” you get some idea of what partisan hypocrites these people are.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I’ll let you in on a few other things that annoy the heck out of me.

To begin with, there’s Alex Rodriguez. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll admit I’m a fan of the New York Yankees. Let me add that I had hoped ARod would break Barry Bonds’ home run record. Now I can no longer root for him. What I would like to see is for all the cheats -- Bonds, McGwire, Sosa, Palmeiro, Giambi -- to have their records stricken from the book. So far as I’m concerned, Roger Maris still holds the single season home run mark and Hank Aaron, the career record. For good measure, I would make Commissioner Bud Selig walk the plank. They pay this bum, who can’t run, hit or throw, eight million bucks a year to oversee the national pastime, and he’s overseen it right into the toilet.