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Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Rebecca Hagelin :: Townhall.com Columnist
Demasculation of America's Boys
by Rebecca Hagelin
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Every time I write about how the modern culture seems dead-set on destroying the confidence of America's little boys, I am swamped with e-mail. It seems that everyone with a son or grandson has a story to tell about how manhood and chivalry are under attack. Last week I heard from a dad, Bill, who echoes the sentiments of many: "The boys are getting emasculated and wimpy/passive as they're now intimidated by girls due to fear of sex harassment charges and pro-female/anti male societal/educational tilts."

Sadly, he's right. As a mom of two sons and a youth leader I have seen how boys cringe when television shows depict boys as crude and stupid while the girls are always smart and powerful. I've experienced their confusion when girls snub them for opening the door. One day I observed the pained looks on the faces of male highschool students when a teacher explained that a major assignment would be to watch a movie of their choice and write a paper on how women in the film are discriminated against.

The attacks on our boys are endless and very purposeful: if they are taught to be nothing more than crude dolts then they will become emasculated men who keep to themselves. And the women will end up wearing the pants.

I've also observed on countless occasions a minor, but powerful, display of how ours is quickly becoming a culture where men are having trouble being men: females struggling alone to lift a heavy suitcase into the overhead compartment on a plane all the while surrounded by men who pretend they don't see.

My reader, Bill, also said: Continued...

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About The Author
Rebecca Hagelin is a public speaker on the family and culture and the author of the new best seller, 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family.
 
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now this i get...
i laughed out loud reading this, i agree so whole-heartedly. what's sad is that i bought into it for so long. i married a very effeminate, introverted man and got frustrated in the end when he would not stop playing video games, and would not 'man up.' i was accosted ina bar once by a very intoxicated young man, and all my husband would do was tell the bartender that there was a problem. SHE told the guy to shove off. which i really think MY MAN should have done. in the end, we got divorced, he having decided that he did not like the responsibility of having a wife and home to take care of. i had spent years thinking that if a guy was 'too masculin' he's be abusive and controlling. i looked for guys who thought it was just wrong of me to do all the cooking (even though i love to bake and cook), and who expected me to open the door. i really thought that was 'the way.' and i ignored my natural feminine instinct to be a caretaker in my own right. i think i have safely de-programmed myself, i'm proud to say...found one of those rare 'real men'... one who chops his own wood, fixes his own truck... and hey, still bakes a mean batch of cookies when he feels like it ;-)

There is a problem here part 2
Men are just not allowed a voice as men in the popular media. And the few voices you do hear are derided and ridiculed. This has some very important implications for men. Very, very important public debates on things such as Family Law, Parenting, Child Custody, and Reproductive Rights just to name a few are dominated by the voices of women both friendly and unfriendly. This is not good at all for men. Take the birth control issue for example. When the female birth control pill was finally developed in the early sixties it was inconceivable that men, or any individual man, would have any serious sway on the attitudes of women at large about it. It was, and still remains, all about women; and rightfully so. Nowadays whenever you hear the subject of the male birth control pill the chorus of opinion is always made up of female voices. Those speaking for it always say: “hey, why should we take on the entire burden of contraception” and those speaking against always say: “men are too irresponsible for their own pill. They will either forget to take it or lie about being on it.” (Yea like women never do those things. GASP!!! Whoops! Did I just say something misogynistic? Shame on me for defending myself and my fellow men as men!) I am reminded of the recent Trojan Condom ad that featured a bar filled with pigs whom if only they walked into the bathroom and bought a condom they would “evolve.” Sorry ladies, the male birth control pill is not about you it is about men. Ours to choose to take or forget to take just like your pill. I believe that this is the main reason that men do not enjoy a similar plethora of birth control options that women do.
I could go on and on illustrating how the lack of a masculine voice in public discourse causes REAL problems for them and for society. But I wonder if any time soon there would even be a single forum in the main stream media where I could do so.
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