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Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Rebecca Hagelin :: Townhall.com Columnist
The Importance of Family Meals
by Rebecca Hagelin
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What was the biggest suprise of Election Day?



How often does your family have dinner together?

That simple question often evokes an answer of, "Ummmmmm......"

What used to be the most basic of activities has become increasingly difficult to schedule in today's busy world. But bringing back the time-honored practice of "breaking bread" with your own family could be the single greatest step you take toward saving your family from all kinds of ills.

For more than a decade, the National Center of Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University has been studying the tremendous impact that family meals have on children. Their research repeatedly shows how children suffer when they don't spend regular, casual time with their parents gathered around the dinner table. Consider this summary of their findings:

"Compared with teens who frequently had dinner with their families (five nights or more per week) those who had dinner with their families only two nights per week or less were twice as likely to be involved in substance abuse. They were 2.5 times as likely to drink alcohol, and nearly three times as likely to try marijuana."

Dining together makes a huge difference in general family relationships too. Children from families who don't have frequent meals together are more than twice as likely to say that the family has strained or tense relationships. And, sadly, they often don't feel as if their parents are very interested in their lives.

There's no reason to wonder if lonely meals lead to strained relationships or vice versa - find out by making togetherness a priority. "Just do it." It might be a worn-out phrase, but as the parent, you need to determine in your heart to make family dinners happen.

And, although they won't tell you, your teens want you to make it a priority. Really.

The pop culture constantly tells parents the pernicious lie that teenagers don't want them around. But teenagers say something very different. CASA's research, for instance, reveals: "When asked whether they prefer to have dinner with their families or to eat alone, 84 percent of teens surveyed say they prefer to have dinner with their families, compared to 13 percent who say they prefer to eat dinner alone (three percent responded 'don't know' or gave no response)." Continued...

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About The Author
Rebecca Hagelin is a public speaker on the family and culture and the author of the new best seller, 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family.
 
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To One, from a Liberal
What makes you so silly and combative? Having worked with families and children for many years, I can tell you that family dysfunction is equal opportunity and can't be broken down by political ideology. The "microwave children" who prepare their own meals while parents (or often a single parent) may be working double shifts or having an affair or taking a class or at the gym doing crunches or passed out drunk upstairs can easily be in either a Conservative or Liberal household.

And, take this to the bank---if you are a parent who is physically in the home, emotionally present to your children, and providing food, your home will very soon become irresistible to other people's children whose home isn't like that. PLEASE don't turn them away. Please welcome those eager visitors because what they experience in YOUR home maybe the best antidote they are getting to the tragic absence of parenting in THEIR home.

Make it Happen
The only reason families don't eat together is because they don't make it a priority. They can claim "overscheduled" all they want but the truth is that if it's important to them, they'll find a way: whether it's eating later, dropping activities, or choosing a different meal.

It's easier to give in to the kid when he claims he'd rather grab fast food with his buddies between activities. Then the parents have time to do their own thing and the family doesn't actually have to get together.

Like Hagelin, I want families to make this work and, even though they won't admit it, so do the "obnoxious" teenagers in the family.
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