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Thursday, March 13, 2008
Paul Greenberg :: Townhall.com Columnist
The Lost Art of the Apology
by Paul Greenberg
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Instead of demanding her spokesman's resignation, Senator Clinton explained that Mr. Wolfson wasn't making "an ad hominem attack" but only an "historical reference." And, what's more, she agreed with him. As an apology, that's more like another attack.

For an example of how to apologize, allow me a little local pride in the Catholic Diocese of Little Rock. It seems the diocese had discouraged support this year for the Susan B. Komen Foundation, which sponsors the Race for the Cure against breast cancer. Why, for heaven's sake? Because of the foundation's supposed ties to Planned Parenthood and abortion providers.

As it turns out, no funds raised by the Race for the Cure in Arkansas are used to finance abortions through Planned Parenthood, and Monsignor J. Gaston Hebert, who currently heads the diocese, minced no words when he apologized for the church's earlier statement:

"To let that statement stand would be an act of injustice," said the monsignor. "With apologies to Komen, to those fighting breast cancer and to the survivors, to the Catholic clergy and faithful who were embarrassed by the mistaken policy, I rescind the position statement in its entirety."

Now that's an apology. No excuses, no "explanations," no weasel words. Just a cleansing act. Result: Trust is restored. Sherrye McBride of the Komen Foundation in Arkansas responded in kind, saying of the monsignor: "He realized he had made a mistake, and he was a big enough person and a fine enough man to say so." Which is how making a proper apology respects and reconciles all concerned. It's an old rule, mathematical in its elegance: Forgiveness is the reciprocal of repentance.

Here's hoping the monsignor's example spreads far beyond Arkansas. It needs to, for apologizing seems largely a forgotten art in our times. Just how forgotten? Nick Smith, a professor of philosophy at the University of New Hampshire, begins his absorbing new book ("I Was Wrong: The Meanings of Apologies") by noting that the most recent philosophical inquiry devoted to the art and practice of apologies may be Maimonides' treatise "Laws of Repentance," which dates back to circa 1170-1180.

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Reply # 1
Date: Mar 16, 2008 - 10:56 PM EST
religiouslib - Part 8


religiouslib writes: “not only is that extreme vindictiveness(not really a Christian attribute) but really quite creepy.”


That’s another dishonest attempt to change the focus from yourself onto me, and I accept it gladly, long enough to show that I am operating in good faith and then shine the light of truth right back where it belongs.


1. There is nothing at all “vindictive” about exposing dishonesty and lies.


2. There is nothing “vindictive” about shining the light of truth on a habitually dishonest troublemaker, and adjusting the spotlight to keep him in the center as he moves around for the comfort of the shadows he’s accustomed to.


3. You can leave if you like, or you can come clean and be welcome to stay, but what you cannot do is remain dishonest and stay and not have me shine the light of truth on you. Get used to it, or change, or leave. The choice is entirely yours.


4. There is nothing “vindictive” or un-Christian about exposing wolves in sheep’s clothing, and you know it, RL.


"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. [16] Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?" (Matthew 7:15-16, KJV)



~~~



religiouslib writes: “i respectfully ask you to never respond to my posts again and i will do the same.”


I have just as much right to post here as you do, and if I see you posting lies and being dishonest, I’m going to call you on it, no different than if someone was doing something disrespectful or illegal out in front of my house. It’s the only way to keep the neighborhood decent.


And you always have the opportunity to defend your words, if you think you can.


And we can do this as long as it takes.

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Reply # 2
Date: Mar 16, 2008 - 10:52 PM EST
religiouslib - Part 7


religiouslib writes: “scott - so now you are stalking me on other threads.”


No, but that’s another attempt to remove the focus from yourself and to put me on the defensive. Knock yourself out, I’ll answer every charge, and then I’ll shine the light right back where it belongs.


You quoted ModMark without attribution earlier (3/15, 12:24pm) to lend support to your credibility and, once having done so, then attack me from what you intended to be an elevated perch.


But, as with everything you do, it was dishonest and you did it dishonestly.


An honest man doesn’t need to bring words of praise from another man in another Thread into the debate, and an honest man wouldn’t use them to elevate himself in preparation to launch an attack on someone else.


And an honest man wouldn’t post a quote without context, or without the name of the man who said those words.


You can spin and make excuses till the cows come home, but it won’t change anything RL. You may say you didn’t want to bring ModMark into the discussion, or that you didn’t know if he would want his name associated with our discussion in a Thread he was not participating in, or any other number of excuses.


None of that matters RL, it was poor judgment. The right thing to do is to let your own words speak for yourself, and if you need to bring in someone else’s words to shore up your credibility then you attribute those words to the man who spoke them, and if you’re not sure he wants to be mentioned, then you ask, or you don’t use them.


See, it’s not hard RL, not if you try and if your heart and your motives are honest.


If you were a kid, I’d cut you some slack here, but you’re old enough to know better.

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