Townhall.com, Where Your Opinion Counts
Talk Radio:   Bill Bennett   Mike Gallagher   Dennis Prager   Michael Medved   Hugh Hewitt   
BREAKING NEWS  LeftArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican   RightArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican  
Columns, funnies & more in your inbox!
  • Check the boxes and send us your email address to receveive your free newsletter
  • Your daily must-read of conservative columns, cartoons and news. Coulter, Sowell, Krauthammer and more.
  • Townhall.com’s weekly inside scoop on what’s happening behind the scenes in the world of politics. When news breaks, we report.
  • Signup to receive the latest daily Townhall cartoons
Monday, December 22, 2008
John McCaslin :: Townhall.com Columnist
Shoes and Stockings
by John McCaslin
Vote on It:
Average Vote:
[+] Text [-]
 
Poll
Was the Copenhagen Global Warming Summit Walk-Out a Win for the U.S.?


It's time to step down into the basement of the White House for the traditional reading of the holiday poem titled, "'Twas the Night Before Christmas: 2008 White House Press Basement Version," read aloud this year by Salem Radio Network correspondent and distinguished poet Greg Clugston to assembled reporters and guests that included CBS's Bill Plante, ABC's Ann Compton and deputy White House press secretary Scott Stanzel.

Without further ado:


'Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Stockings were hung in the West Wing with care,
In hopes that January 20th soon would be there.
The president was asleep, all snug in his bed,
While visions of Texas danced in his head.
Can't wait to leave D.C., so cold and callous,
For the comfy confines of a new home in Dallas.
Barney was napping next to the nightstand,
Eager to bite another journalist's hand.
Both Bushes settled down for long winter naps,
Hoping to avert the automakers' collapse.
What a year it had been, with its twists and its turns,
From Jenna's summer wedding to meltdown concerns.
From the pope's springtime visit and his "awesome" speech,
To the shoe-throwing incident — a security breach.
There were stimulus checks to boost buyin' and sellin',
Then came the book from disgruntled McClellan.
In the campaign, Republicans were bailin',
Bush was kept far from McCain and Ms. Palin.
Suddenly, there arose on the lawn such a clatter,
Dubya jumped up to see what was the matter.
When, what to his wondering eyes did he see?
But a limo coming — from Treasury.
Out stepped Hank Paulson in a red Santa suit,
Complete with white beard and shiny black boots.
He was armed with a checkbook to fix the recession,
Handing out billions for every subprime transgression.
"Now Fannie! Now Freddie! And now A-I-G!
"On Bankers! On Wall Street! And Detroit's Big Three!
"We're pumping in cash for liquidity,
"And boosting long-term viability."
The phone rang inside and Bush answered in time,
A call from Chicago — Obama on the line.
"Sorry it's late. What an imposition."
"No problem," said Bush. "Just part of the transition."
Barack bemoaned Blagojevich; boy, what a creep —
The audacity, the hair, the (bleep, bleep, bleep).
Facing last-minute jitters, Obama needed advice,
The war, the economy, anything would suffice.
And I heard Bush exclaim, without blowing his fuse:
"Merry Christmas to all! Watch out for the shoes!"

BUCK THE TREND

Hats off to Rep. Howard P. "Buck" McKeon, California Republican, who has surprised a second group of students — this time from Mesa Intermediate School in his congressional district — with tickets to the Jan. 20 inaugural ceremony.

Of the 198 tickets that were distributed to the congressman, he has now given 72 away to students and teachers so they can witness history firsthand, as he put it. Mr. McKeon earlier presented 40 tickets to a history teacher and students from the Academy of the Canyons in Santa Clarita, Calif.

"I realize giving so many of the inaugural tickets away to students is a bit unusual, but this is a historic time for Americans as we swear in the country's first African-American president," said Mr. McKeon. "I've warned the students about the cold temperatures in Washington, D.C., in January, but I feel certain their excitement will keep them warm."

Share:
Vote on It:
Average Vote:
 
About The Author

John McCaslin is a contributing columnist on Townhall.com and author of Inside The Beltway: Offbeat Stories, Scoops, and Shenanigans from around the Nation's Capital .

Be the first to read John McCaslin's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com delivered each morning to your inbox.

How do you spell it?

Free Location: CA
Reply # 1
Date: Dec 22, 2008 - 7:22 PM EST
Subject: OFFICE HOLDERS CLUELESS ABOUT GOVERNMENT
AMERICANS DON'T KNOW BASIC CIVICS
==========

And neither do most of the posters on TH.

Ratas y Ratones
Don't give up, old friend. Just scroll on by. You notice the trolls never interface with me. I haven't read anything by Robbie since before his last 2 name changes. As soon as i recognize a troll, i downshift to scroll past mode. On a free site like this, its inevitable that some dross will be present. Just part of life. There is no way i'd give up Prelutsky and Sowell and Malkin and Coulter because so twisted loon tries to pee in the punchbowl.
Sign Up to Post Your CommentsSign Up to Post Your Comments
If you are already registered, click here to login. Otherwise, please take a few seconds to register with Townhall.com. Once you sign up, you’ll be able to post your comments immediately, use the action center, get podcasts, and more!
Note: Fields marked with a red asterisk (*) are required.
Salutation:
First Name:
*
Last Name:
*
Email:
*
Nickname:
*
Note: Nick name will be shown when you post comments.
Address 1:
*
Address 2:
City:
*
State:
*
Zip:
*
Phone:
      
Your daily must-read of conservative columns, cartoons and news. Coulter, Sowell, Krauthammer and more.
(Bi-Weekly) We highlight the best opportunities from our partners for surveys, action items and more.