And to save on energy, he has to share a small office with that annoying environmental nutball Ed Begley Jr. In a shocking turn of events, entrepreneurs and small business owners have formed a union and gone on strike. They’re refusing to re-open their businesses, meet payrolls or create any taxable income until they are guaranteed no less than $72 an hour in net income, full health care benefits, 20 paid vacation days a year, and pensions paying 80 percent of the income they earned when managing their businesses. They demand these guarantees regardless of whether their businesses make or lose money, make and sell products people will buy or not, or endlessly pile up mountains of unmanageable debt periodically requiring federal bail-outs. In a related story, homeowners who have paid their mortgages as agreed – that is, more than 93 percent of all mortgages – have also formed a union. They are refusing to make any payments until all their loans are re-written with 50 percent reductions in principal owed, 0 percent interest for 30 years, and free swimming pools or game rooms provided as signing bonuses. Finally today, the White House press corps is surprised by an impromptu press conference called by President Obama, at which he delivered the shortest speech in presidential history. “Oops.” |