Still, as absurd and illogical as my newspaper is, that’s nothing compared to the lunacy taking place in our courts. To take a recent example, 100 Somali Muslims sued Gold’n Plump, a meat processing outfit with plants in Minnesota and Wisconsin, and the Work Connection, an employment agency, for $350,000…and, quite naturally, won. It seems the Muslims took five prayer breaks a day, which resulted in the non-Muslim workers complaining that it was unfair to them, while the employment agency had asked the Muslims to sign a form acknowledging that they might be required to handle pork.

The lawsuits, by the way, were filed by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Your tax dollars at work. It occurs to me that the motto at the EEOC, like that in Orwell’s “Animal Farm,” is that all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Why anyone in his right mind would hire people who feel entitled to five prayer breaks a day is beyond me, but clearly the folks at the EEOC have way too much time on their hands. Come to think of it, perhaps that would be a good place for the Somalis to go looking for new jobs. But I suppose Washington is not the place to settle if you can’t risk coming in contact with pork.

In conclusion, as most of you are aware, homosexuals have been rioting pretty much non-stop ever since California’s electorate once again put the kibosh on same-sex marriages. They have picketed and vandalized Catholic and Mormon churches to display their displeasure, which suggests to me that, instead of “gays” being their euphemism of choice, perhaps “cranks,” “louts” or “bigots” might be more appropriate.

The one group of churches they haven’t gone after are the black ones, even though 70% of blacks voted in favor of marriage being limited to one man and one woman. What’s more, blacks were very vocal about objecting to homosexual marriages being touted as a civil right. The fact that, in spite of all this, homosexuals have given black churches a wide berth suggests that while gays may not always practice safe sex, they certainly practice safe demonstrations.