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Tipsheet

Kristi Noem's Husband Likes Wearing Fake Boobs. This Story Is Heading Exactly Where You Think It's Going.

Kristi Noem's Husband Likes Wearing Fake Boobs. This Story Is Heading Exactly Where You Think It's Going.
monkeybusinessimages/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) can probably breathe a sigh of relief as many have been wondering why he’s gallivanting in Disney World alone. I don’t think he’s alone—he’s with an unidentified woman and her child—but he was getting cooked on social media for it. Kristi Noem’s husband’s big-boob fetish has overtaken that. 

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Look, people have their proclivities. For Bryon Noem, it’s crossdressing and wearing ridiculously big breasts, something he didn’t deny. He did, however, deny bad-mouthing his wife, Kristi, who was recently shown the exit at the Department of Homeland Security (via Daily Mail):

While his wife has operated at the highest echelons of government, handling matters of national security in her recent role as DHS secretary, Bryon Noem, 56, has been dressing up and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty.

The Daily Mail has reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the 'bimbofication' scene – where porn performers transform themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breasts. 

Bryon has lavished praise on their surgically-enhanced bodies, confessed his lust for 'huge, huge ridiculous boobs,' and even made indiscreet remarks about his 34-year marriage to former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi, our investigation can exclusively disclose. 

[…]

Texts and WhatsApp messages reveal that Bryon was being repeatedly asked for money during the 14 months Noem led the nation's largest federal law enforcement agency. 

He sent his secret roster of online acquaintances at least $25,000 via Cash App and PayPal but when the payments were delayed or failed to materialize the chats would quickly turn sour.

One of the women became so disgruntled she posted about his behavior on social media before later deleting it. 

[…] 

When Daily Mail reached Bryon by telephone he did not deny having explicit conversations or sharing photos of himself dressed as a woman. 

It was also put to him that he had made indiscreet comments about his wife and could have endangered national security by exposing her to the threat of blackmail. 

‘Yeah, I made no comments like that, that would lead to that,’ Bryon replied. ‘I deny the second part of that.’ 

[…] 

His fetish was '3000cc-plus boobs,' according to one of the models who communicated extensively with Bryon and agreed to describe their conversations to the Daily Mail. 

That's a reference to custom-made XXL implants that can hold more than 3000 cubic centimeters of saline per breast – far greater than surgeons typically recommend. 

'It's called bimbofication. People who modify their body to look like a doll. The Barbie look,' she explained. 

'His kink is for huge, huge ridiculous boobs.'

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First, Daily Mail: this was a fun story since the reactions were hilarious. It doesn’t excuse those trash headlines about Markwayne Mullin’s confirmation hearing or the article about Charlie Kirk’s assassin. Mullin replaced Noem at DHS.  

Second, since we were caught up in the Epstein scandal, there are worse things to be involved in, I suppose. Sure, the rumor mill is spinning, especially regarding her reportedly close relationship with Corey Lewandowski. I also think whatever is happening there was more cause for blackmail than Byron’s dress-up stuff, but it’s what it is. The man likes big boobs, and that dog, Cricket, might have been killed for it.   

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I also didn’t need to see the images.  

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